Church and Sacraments
These are the elements of communion.
What is bread and wine?
These are the 2 ways God speaks.
What is Law and Gospel?
This is what we are asking for in “give us this day our daily bread.”
What are daily needs?
Hate breaks this commandment.
What is “do not murder” or 5th commandment?
Okay, so like, they were living their best lives in the Garden of Eden. Everything was chill. They were out there vibing with all the animals, eating fruit, no worries, no stress. Total #blessed energy. And then, enter the snake. 🐍 Now, this snake? He’s not your regular garden variety. He’s, like, super sus, lowkey the worst. He rolls up to her, and he’s like, “Yo, did God really tell you that you can’t eat from any of the trees in the garden?” She, trying to stay calm, replies, “Nah, that’s not what God said. We can eat from every tree, except the one in the middle. The one that’s like, don’t touch or you’ll die. Big oof.” But the snake’s like, seriously trying to gaslight her. “Pssh, you won’t die. You’ll actually be like gods, knowing good and evil. It’s literally a power-up you didn’t even know you needed. Trust me, it’s a major glow-up, no cap.” She, low-key tempted, takes a look at the fruit. It looks like top-tier content, shiny and perfect for the ‘Gram, so she takes a bite. And then, out of nowhere, she gives some to her bae, and he’s like, “Bet,” and eats it too.
Who are Adam and Eve?
These are the 2 sacraments.
What is communion and baptism?
Baptism
What is Gospel?
This is how many petitions there are in the Lord’s Prayer.
What is 7?
According to the Bible, the Sabbath is on this day of the week.
What is Saturday?
Okay, so here's the game plan: take your rod, flex it up and extend your handover the sea, like you're about to drop a sick beat. Then watch the magic happen as the sea splits into two, creating a fire pathway for the kids of Israel to strut their stuff on dry ground, right through the middle of the sea.
Who is Moses?
Fill in the blank: Batism is water with …
What is the Word?
10 commandments
What is the law?
Lamentations is filled with this category of prayer.
What is Lament?
This is the number of uses of the law.
What is 3?
She was like, “Yo, this dude is straight-up evil, he's our enemy, and he's got no chill—like, no aura.” The queen was totally slaying in that moment. Then, dude got real shook in front of the king and the queen, like trembling hard. He was literally freaking out. So the king? Mad mad. He storms out of the lit wine party, all dramatic, and heads to the palace garden to cool off. Meanwhile, this dude—he knows he's in deep trouble—gets up and starts begging the queen for his life. He’s like, “Yo, I messed up, save me!” He’s totally on the ropes because he knows the king’s about to drop the hammer on him. Then the king comes back from the garden, all fresh, and heads back to the party. And guess what he sees? This dude’s lying on the same couch where the queen was chilling. The king looks at him like, “Is this dude seriously trying to attackthe queen in my own house, in my own crib?” Like, big yikes. Before anyone can even say anything, they cover dude’s face and shut him down. Total mood kill. Then Harbonah, one of the king’s high-ranking squad members, snitches and says, “Yo, king, check this: this dude literally built this massive, 50-cubit-tall gallows to hang Mordecai. And, like, Mordecai did some legit stuff for you!” And get this—the gallows are just chilling at his place. So the king’s like, “Bet. Hang him on that thing right now! Because he is not Him" (And just so you know, "gallows" is basically a super tall tree in Hebrew)
Who is Esther?
This is what the church is.
What is the people of God gathered around the means of grace?
This is the Gospel in one word.
What is done?
This is the prayerbook of the Bible.
What are the Psalms?
Daily Double!!!
This commandment commands us to pray.
What is the 2nd commandment; you shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God?
They were like, 'Hey, could you please spill the tea on why this bad stuff is happening to us? What's your hustle? And where do you come from? What's your origin? And what's your background, fam?' Yo, listen up fam, I gotta keep it real with you. I'm reppin' the Hebrew squad and I've got mad respect for the Most High, the big Boss upstairs who created the whole shebang - the ocean vibes and the solid ground. Ya feel me? (By the way, when I say the LORD, I mean JEHOVAH, just so you're in the loop). The guys were like super scared and they were like, dude why did you do that? They knew that he was running away from God because he had told them. They asked him, 'What do you want us to do, so the ocean chills out? It's getting all wild and stormy.' And he's like, yo guys, pick me up and throw me into the sea, and then the sea will chill out, cause I know this crazy storm is all because of me. But the guys were like, going all out trying to get that thing to the shore, but it was a total fail. The sea was going all crazy and furious, totally against them. #epicstruggle So they called out to the LORD and said, 'Yo, God, we're begging you, please don't let us die because of this dude. Don't blame us for his innocent blood, 'cause, you know, you did what you wanted to do, Lord.' So they yeeted Him into the ocean, and the waves were like, 'Chillax.'
Who is Jonah?
This is what means means in "means of grace".
What is the instrument/delivery?
This is the Law in one or two words.
What is do or don’t do?
This is what hallowed means.
What is to make holy?
This is the sermon where Jesus preaches on the 10 commandments.
What is the sermon on the mount/plain?
Bro gad so much rizz he accidentally got 2 wives.
Who is Jacob?