You know you're Co-dependent when
Your self worth and identity hinges on this.
the approval of others
Name three origins of co-dependence
dysfunctional parenting,
abuse/neglect
addiction
The two major categories of boundaries are
internal boundaries: (healthy internal boundaries protect our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and keeps them functional)
external: (healthy external boundaries allows us to choose our distance fom others and engables us to give or refuse permission for others to touch us or our private property.)
Two extremes of inappropriate levels of self esteem experienced by co-dependents include _________ and ___________.
low or non-existent self esteem - the belief that you are worth less than others
arrogance and grandiosity - the belief that you are set apart and superior to others
This is the first step in recovering from co-dependence
Recognizing how co-dependence shows up in ourselves and our lives
You consistently focus on the needs and problems of others while doing this.
neglecting, sacrificing, or ignoring your own needs and problems
Name three types of dysfunctional parenting
Permissive
Authoritarian
Unavailable
Using sarcasm to hurt or belittle another person demonstrates lack of which of the two types of boundaries?
Internal boundaries
This term is defined as "internal value of one's self that remains intact even when they make a mistake, are cheated on, lied to, or rejected by a lover, friend, parent, child, or boss"
Healthy self esteem
A goal of recovery from co-dependence is moving from low self esteem or arrogance toward this.
Self esteem based on the presence of one's humanity
You are often referred to as one or more of these three lables.
caretaker, people pleaser, rescuer
Perfectionism and need for control often result from this type of parenting style
Authoritarian ( this style of parenting sends the message that mistakes are not permissable)
Healthy internal boundaries help us to protect these things
our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
A family system that teaches children to find fault in others results in which inappropriate type of self esteem?
Arrogance/Grandiosity
Child learns to view others as inferior to themselves
Recovery from co-dependence involves moving from lack of boundaries or Anti-dependence toward this
Interdependence: the ability to be vulnerable and intimate while protecting your beliefs, feelings, and needs.
Your mood is determined by this.
the mood of those around you
These three co-dependent characteristics often develop as a result of ignored or neglected needs or wants during childhood
Little or no awareness of own needs and wants
May neglect basic self care needs
May not pursue connection with others
Hugging someone who has extended a hand for a handshake demonstrates a lack of which type of boundary?
External boundaries
A family system that sends direct or indirect message that children are "less than" people can lead to low or non existent self esteem due to this...
internalizing the "less than" message into view of self.
Being responsible for one's own self care while experiencing empathy and demonstrating kindness toward others is referred to as _________
Interdependence
You always smile and appear cheerful even when you are
angry or anxious
This adult co-dependent characteristic is often a result of abuse or anger from parent when child attempted to communicate needs and wants
Difficulty asking for help. Would rather go with unmet needs than have to ask for help.
Believing we are responsible for making someone feel, think, or do anything demonstrates lack of which type of boundary?
Internal boundaries
What is "Other Esteem?"
Other esteem is based on external things:
appearance, financial status, social status, material posessions, job status, performance of their children, power and status of their spouse, educational achievement, own performance in activities valued by others.
Recovery from co-dependence involves moving away from being perfect (good)or rebellious (bad) toward this.
being real - accountable and accepting of one's imperfections
and spiritual- looking to a higher power for help with imperfections