Codependency General Questions
What is Co-dependency?
Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. People with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive
Why are boundaries created?
Boundaries are created to set limits on what you will and won't accept.
Codependents tend to look to others for validation and approval. What are some of your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
Answers Vary
What is Interdependency? (Think opposites)
interdependency requires two people capable of autonomy (the ability to function independently).
Who Does Co-dependency Affect?
Originally, co-dependent was a term used to describe partners in chemical dependency, persons living with, or in a relationship with an addicted person. Similar patterns have been seen in people in relationships with chronically or mentally ill individuals. Today, however, the term has broadened to describe any co-dependent person from any dysfunctional family.
Why is it good to know someone's boundaries?
Boundaries are good to be aware of because if you respect the boundaries, you could gain trust, freedom, and responsibility.
What does confidence feel like? Why is this important in avoiding codependent behaviors?
Examples:
-helps with communication
-helps with setting boundaries
-helps to look at own self worth
What are the characteristics of an Interdependent relationship?
What is a Dysfunctional Family and How Does it Lead to Co-dependency?
A dysfunctional family is one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain, or shame that is ignored or denied. Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. They don’t talk about them or confront them. As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs.
Why are boundaries important?
Answers Vary. Examples:
Boundaries provide a sense of comfort
Boundaries provide a sense of security
Boundaries can create a healthier relationship and enhance communication
Sometimes a person in a codependent relationship tends to avoid looking at their own strengths.
Describe a time you initially labeled a “failure,” but later realized it was a stepping stone to something great.
Answers vary.
People in Inter-dependent relationships tend to have higher levels of self esteem. What does this mean that each person is able to do?
They can manage their thoughts and feelings on their own and don’t have to control someone else to feel okay. They can allow for each other’s differences and honor each another’s separateness.
How might a codependent person behave?
An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship to avoid the feeling of abandonment
A compelling need to control others
Difficulty identifying feelings
Problems with intimacy/boundaries
Poor communication
Why is understanding your value system important for setting a boundary?
boundaries are general; they are not universal for all people. What one person may be willing to accept in a relationship, another may not. However, what is accepted has to be healthy, positive, and beneficial, or it is not an effective boundary within the relationship. Taking a look at what you value and what you need is the starting point for setting boundaries that are relevant and meaningful.
Why would a codependent feel the need to seek constant approval of others?
Answers Vary. Examples:
-low self esteem
-learned behavior from family or environment
How is the concept of "control" different in inter-dependency?
share power equally and take responsibility for their own feelings, actions, and contributions to the relationship
Give an example of how to set an appropriate boundary with someone in a codependent relationship.
Answer varies.
What is okay and not okay for me?
Use simple and direct language.
Follow through and be consistent
What do you do if a boundary no longer works?
Answers Vary.
Provide examples of positive affirmations.
Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes
Provide a real life example of an interdependent relationship. What all does this entail?
Answers vary.