Making Assumptions
When you think someone is going to react in a particular way, or you believe someone is thinking things that they aren't.
Mind reading
"Should" do, "must" do, or "shouldn't" do something. These rules create pressure on ourselves and other people. Creating expectations that are not likely/not realistic.
"Should" Statements
Bob says "Hi" to Joe, but Joe ignores him. Bob assumes "Joe hates me."
Jumping to Conclusions (Mind Reading)
"I should be early for school every day."
Evaluate evidence: Is it true? Is there evidence?
Ex. realistic thought: “Being early for school is helpful, but it’s okay if I’m just on time some days. What matters most is showing up prepared and ready to learn.”
How can you challenge a negative thought?
Evaluate the evidence. (Is this true? What is the evidence?) What is more realistic? Am I making an assumption? Is there another explanation. Will this matter in 1 week, 1 month, 1 year? Use positive affirmations.
Making conclusions and predictions without enough evidence that a situation will have a negative outcome.
Fortune Telling
Assigning judgment to yourself or others based on a negative incident. Instead of recognizing you made a mistake, you may call yourself or others a name that is exaggerated and/or based on one event.
Labeling
Wendy is the boss of Frank. Wendy tells Frank, "You have made great progress and are ready for a promotion." But Frank thinks "It's nothing, she's just saying that."
Disqualifying the positive, minimizing
"I failed a test. That means I'm not smart."
“This test doesn’t define my intelligence — it just shows where I need more practice.”
How can talking with others help us challenge a negative thought?
Hear their perspective, see from another angle. Reassurance.
Over exaggeration leads to worrying about the worst case scenario.
Magnification / Catastrophizing
Acknowledges the positives but refuses to accept it. Finds excuses to turn it into a negative one.
Discounting the positive, minimizing
Jeffrey is interviewing Susan. Susan does not get hired for the job. Susan thinks, "I'll never get hired."
Overgeneralization, fortune telling, jumping to conclusions
“They’re laughing at me. I must have said something stupid. Everyone will think I’m awkward forever.”
“They might be laughing at something else, or just in general."
“Not everyone is judging me. One awkward moment doesn’t mean I’m always awkward.”
“I said something awkward, but that’s okay. It doesn’t ruin how people see me.”
What is positive self-talk?
Speak to yourself kindly, like you would to a friend.
Focuses on a single event and makes a conclusion based on a piece of negative evidence. We may assume all similar events going forward will result in the same negative experience. The words "always" or "never" frequently appear in the sentence.
Overgeneralization
Any feeling must be true in their mind. The emotion is accepted as fact because all logical reasoning is blocked out. Incorrectly assumes the negative feeling is the only truth.
Emotional reasoning
Bob thinks "I feel like a failure, so I must be one."
Emotional Reasoning
“I feel anxious, so I must be unprepared and going to mess up.”
“Feeling anxious doesn’t mean I’m unprepared. I’ve practiced and done what I can, and it’s normal to feel nervous before a presentation. I can still do well even if I feel anxious.”
“Feeling nervous is normal. It doesn’t predict the outcome, and I can handle it.”
What are 3 coping skills you can use if you have anxious thoughts?
Distraction, grounding, mindfulness, problem-solving.
Taking what others do or say and assuming it is about you, even if it is unrelated. Assuming you have been intentionally left out or targeted.
Personalization
This is a "Black and White" thinking pattern, with no middle ground. Ex. Desire to be perfect or you are a complete failure.
All-or-nothing thinking / Polarized thinking
Kelly trips over a stick on the ground and says "I'm a clumsy clod."
Labeling
You make a mistake while painting and think, "I'm a terrible artist."
"I made a mistake on this painting, but that doesn’t mean I’m a terrible artist. Everyone makes mistakes, and I can learn and improve with practice.”
What is the difference between thoughts and emotions? Give an example.
These are the two different ways your mind responds to events: a thought is a mental interpretation or belief, and an emotion is a reaction of the mind and body to a situation, experience, or thought.
Thought: "I am going to fail the test."
Emotion: Feeling anxious, nervous, worried