Compassion
What is compassion?
Caring when others are hurt, sad, or in need. When we show compassion to others, we are showing them kindness.
A person experiencing homelessness refuses the food you're offering and walks away. Before assuming they're being rude, perspective taking asks you to consider what factors might explain their response.
What is considering that they may have dietary restrictions, previous negative experiences, or simply be having a difficult day?
A YMCA resident tells you they've lost custody of their children and have struggled with addiction. Your initial reaction is to question the choices they made, but compassion challenges you to see the person, not just their past.
What is separating someone's worth from their worst decisions?
What could you say to show compassion? Your friend was embarrassed when he or she made a mistake.
It is okay, we all make mistakes. I know how you feel, I made a mistake the other day. Remember, we learn from our mistakes.
A crime victim doesn't report what happened immediately. Instead of questioning their story, you remember that...
What is that trauma affects how and when people respond?
What does sympathy mean?
When you understand another person's feelings because you can see they are sad or upset or scared. You can have sympathy for someone even if you have never had their same experiences.
A crime victim cancels their appointment at the last minute for the third time. Instead of assuming they don't want help, perspective taking asks you to imagine what emotions or fears they may be experiencing. .
What is recognizing that trauma can make it difficult to trust others or ask for help?
During a break, you hear a co-worker say, "If people really wanted to change, they would."
How should you respond?
What is that every person's story is more complex than what we can see?
Compassion doesn't require you to ignore personal responsibility, but it does require you to recognize this truth before making that judgment.
While serving at a homeless shelter, you notice a guest sitting alone. Instead of only completing your task, you choose to spend a few minutes talking with them and learning their name.
What is treating someone with dignity through personal connection?
You catch yourself making a quick judgment about someone's character based on one piece of information.
What is recognizing your own bias before reacting?
What does empathy mean?
When you understand another person's feelings because you have had the same or similar experience. You can feel what someone is feeling because you have been there.
A YMCA resident avoids eye contact and gives one-word answers whenever you speak with them. Before deciding they don't like you, perspective taking encourages you to consider another explanation.
What is understanding they may feel anxious, embarrassed, overwhelmed, or unsure whom to trust?
A classmate who has been rude to you all semester asks to borrow your notes after missing class because of a family emergency.
What is showing compassion by helping someone despite past conflicts?
A crime victim becomes emotional while sharing their story. Rather than trying to "fix" the situation or change the subject, you stay present and listen.
What is offering the kindness of being fully present?
During your volunteer shift, you catch yourself thinking, "If I were in their situation, I would have made different choices." Challenging assumptions begins by recognizing this important truth.
What is that you don't know the experiences, barriers, or circumstances that shaped another person's decisions?
What are the 2 elements to Compassion?
Sympathy and Empathy
A chemotherapy patient seems frustrated when you ask, "How are you feeling today?" Instead of assuming they're upset with you, perspective taking asks you to imagine what it might be like to answer that question every day while living with cancer.
What is recognizing that repeated questions can be emotionally exhausting when someone is facing a serious illness?
A teammate makes a mistake that costs your team the game. Everyone starts blaming them, and you notice they are already upset.
What is showing compassion by offering support instead of joining the criticism?
A YMCA resident remembers your name from a previous visit. Instead of rushing to your next task, you stop to greet them by name and ask how they've been.
What is showing kindness by making someone feel seen and remembered?
A person in a YMCA residence tells you they have struggled with addiction. The assumption that they are defined only by their addiction ignores this important fact.
What is that they are a person with a story, strengths, and the ability to change?
You meet someone whose life choices are very different from your own, and you strongly disagree with many of their decisions. Compassion asks you to remember this before deciding how to treat them
What is that every person deserves dignity and respect, regardless of their past or circumstances?
A man tells you he has been homeless for years and has turned down housing opportunities in the past. Before deciding he's choosing homelessness, perspective taking asks what barriers or experiences you might not know about.
What is recognizing that trauma, mental health, safety concerns, or past experiences may influence decisions that seem confusing from the outside?
You're serving meals at a homeless shelter. One guest seems impatient and doesn't thank the volunteers. Your first reaction is to think they're ungrateful, but compassion asks you to consider what they may be carrying that you can't see.
What is choosing empathy over judgment?
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do isn't giving advice, money, or solutions. It's offering this to someone who may feel invisible.
What is your time, attention, and genuine respect? Making them feel HUMAN.
The practice of replacing "What's wrong with this person?" with "What happened that shaped this person's experience?" is an example of this approach.
What is challenging assumptions through empathy and understanding?