"Say What?"
"I'm not just hearing your words, I'm paying attention to what you're saying"
WHAT IS ACTIVE LISTENING?
Active Listening is one of the most important aspects of communication. Successful listening is not just and understanding of spoken or written information, but also an understanding of how the speaker feels during communication.
When people just ignore or withdraw from the conflict
WHAT IS AVOIDING?
Avoiding is when people just ignore or withdraw from the conflict. They choose this method when the discomfort of confrontation exceeds the potential reward of resolution of the conflict. While this might seem easy to accommodate for the facilitator, people aren’t really contributing anything of value to the conversation and may be withholding worthwhile ideas. When conflict is avoided, nothing is resolved.
"I can see where you're coming from, and I understand how you're feeling, but I still need to set my boundary"
WHAT IS BEING EMPATHETIC?
Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other person’s situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. “I know you’ve been very busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well.”
The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
WHAT IS EMPATHY?
An exchange of words between two or more people about any topic
WHAT IS CONVERSATION?
Conversation is the basis of communication. Even a simple, friendly conversation with one of your peers can build mutual trust and even detect problems that may be present before they become serious.
"I'm right and your're wrong. I don't need to back down"
WHAT IS COMPETING
Competing is used by people who go into a conflict planning to win. They’re assertive and not cooperative. This method is characterized by the assumption that one side wins and everyone else loses. It doesn’t allow room for diverse perspectives into a well informed total picture. Competing might work in sports or war, but it’s rarely a good strategy for group problem solving.
"I say what I mean clearly, and respectfully. I will get my needs met, but I will be considerate of your needs at the same time"
WHAT IS BEING ASSERTIVE?
Thought to be the most effective form of communication, the assertive communication style features an open communication link while not being overbearing. Assertive communicators can express their own needs, desires, ideas and feelings, while also considering the needs of others. Assertive communicators aim for both sides to win in a situation, balancing one’s rights with the rights of others.
One of the keys to assertive communication is using “I” statements, such as “I feel frustrated when you are late for a meeting,” or, “I don’t like having to explain this over and over.” It indicates ownership of feelings and behaviors without blaming the other person.
Examples of phrases an assertive communicator would use include:
A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
WHAT IS RESPECT
Asking questions, commenting, clarifying, providing ideas
WHAT IS GIVING FEEDBACK?
Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is,” or “Sounds like you are saying,” are great ways to reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you. Ask questions to clarify certain points: “What do you mean when you say…” or “I wonder if this could work for you?”
"Well I guess if that's what you want I'll go along with it. I don't want to argue"
WHAT IS ACCOMMODATING?
Accommodating is a strategy where one party gives in to the wishes or demands of another. They’re being cooperative but not assertive. This may appear to be a gracious way to give in when one figures out s/he has been wrong about an argument. It’s less helpful when one party accommodates another merely to preserve harmony or to avoid disruption. Like avoidance, it can result in unresolved issues. Too much accommodation can result in groups where the most assertive parties commandeer the process and take control of most conversations.
"Let's not fight. Everything is fine. I'll do what you want, just don't be mad at me"
WHAT IS BEING PASSIVE?
Individuals who use the passive communication style often act indifferently, yielding to others. Passive communicators usually fail to express their feelings or needs, allowing others to express themselves. Frequently, a passive communicator’s lack of outward communication can lead to misunderstanding, anger build-up or resentment. At the same time, these communicators can be safer to speak with when a conflict arises, because they most likely will avoid a confrontation or defer to others.
The imparting or exchanging of information or news. The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings
WHAT IS COMMUNICATION?
"I'm not going to let my feelings get the best of me, that way my decisions won't have unforeseen consequences"
WHAT IS CONTROLLING EMOTIONS
In communication, feelings play an important role. Making decisions more often affects the way you feel than the way you think.
Guided by emotions, your nonverbal behavior affects your understanding of other people and how others understand and perceive you.
If you are not aware of the feelings you are guided by, you will not be able to express your needs and experiences. This can result in frustration, misunderstanding and conflict.
"Let's work together to figure this out"
WHAT IS COLLABORATING?
Collaborating is the method used when people are both assertive and cooperative. A group may learn to allow each participant to make a contribution with the possibility of co-creating a shared solution that everyone can support.
"GIVE ME MY WAY OR ELSE!!!"
WHAT IS BEING AGGRESSIVE?
It’s often apparent when someone communicates in an aggressive manner. You’ll hear it. You’ll see it. You may even feel it.
The aggressive communication style is emphasized by speaking in a loud and demanding voice, maintaining intense eye contact and dominating or controlling others by blaming, intimidating, criticizing, threatening or attacking them, among other traits.
The action of keeping away from or not doing something.
The action of preventing something from happening.
WHAT IS AVOIDANCE?
"You're telling me a lot about what's going on with you, and you're not even talking"
WHAT IS NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION?
Non-verbal signals are wordless communication, body position, facial expression, hand movements, gestures, eye contact, attitude and tone of your voice, muscle tension and the way you/we breathe.
The way you look, listen, create, react, gesture, speaks far more about feelings than words will ever be able to.
"I didn't get everything I wanted, and either did you, but I can live with that"
WHAT IS COMPROMISING?
Another strategy is compromising, where participants are partially assertive and cooperative. The concept is that everyone gives up a little bit of what they want, and no one gets everything they want. The perception of the best outcome when working by compromise is that which “splits the difference.” Compromise is perceived as being fair, even if no one is particularly happy with the final outcome.
"I won't say what I mean, but I want you to know what I want so I mumble, make sarcastic remarks, say mean things but make you think I'm joking...."
WHAT IS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE?
Passive-aggressive communication style users appear passive on the surface, but within he or she may feel powerless or stuck, building up a resentment that leads to seething or acting out in subtle, indirect or secret ways.
Most passive-aggressive communicators will mutter to themselves rather than confront a person or issue. They have difficulty acknowledging their anger, use facial expressions that don’t correlate with how they feel and even deny there is a problem.
Passive-aggressive communicators are most likely to communicate with body language or a lack of open communication to another person, such as giving someone the silent treatment, spreading rumors behind people’s backs or sabotaging others’ efforts. Passive-aggressive communicators may also appear cooperative, but may silently be doing the opposite.
Ultimately, passive-aggressive communicators are aware of their needs, but at times struggle to voice them.
Having or showing a confident and forceful personality.
WHAT IS ASSERTIVE?