Chapters 1-2
The process in which the goal is to resolve conflict by reestablishing trust to rebuild a relationship and put conflict behind them.
Conflict Resolution
One of the "best practices" for establishing the right conditions for difficult conversations.
Set aside time; establish a conversation protocol; commit to staying calm.
The first step in staying open when you want to shut others down.
Give the person time and space to be heard.
Being assertive is not selfish. It is selfish to do what?
Avoid or aggress
A sign that someone is either unwilling or unable to express what they are feeling or needing.
Passive Aggression
The feeling we get when we connect with, relate to or understand one's emotions.
Empathy
Sequence used to decipher why you resent someone and to seperate behavior you witnessed from meanings and judments.
The clearing task
The feeling of intense emotion that activates the fight or flight response.
Triggers
Inviting the other person into collaboration and removing them as the problem repositions the problem as what?
The "Third Entity"
When someone manipulates others and makes them question their reality and sanity to get what they want.
Gaslighting
The two part skill that involves both active listening and relfective acknowledgment of what the other person is communicating.
Reflective Listening
Template for anyone who is letting you down or not meeting your expectations.
Clarifying expectations template
We surmise the intentions and thoughts of others based on our past experiences, and our understanding of why we might do those things.
Theory of Mind
The final step of the 5-step-process for creative problem solving where both sides agree to select an idea that works for everyone.
Agreement phase
This can help someone get back on task, change behavior and follow appropriate rules of conduct in the office.
Ask them what support they need.
Employing the right tone to prevent or resolve conflict. Calm, compassionate and confident.
Modulating Vocal Tone
What to do if you appear to be triggering someone and you're not sure why.
Speak with them and adjust your communication style.
If someone is not explicitly asking for advice, do not give them advice.
Rule of thumb: offer support, not advice.
Do this to maintain peace and diminish the chance of further conflict.
Devise a clear plan of action.
Do this if all tactics have failed and your boss is still hostile or defensive after trying to confront them directly.
Involve HR
Identity, Safety, Care, Autonomy, Growth and Stimulation.
The Six Core Psychological Needs
The primary core psychological need related to honoring diversity.
Identity
Listening, acknowledging, admitting and making a plan to correct behavior going forward.
The apology sequence
Helpful feedback that offers specific actionable suggestions.
Constructive criticism
One of the key tools to use when confronting a bully.
Recognize and acknowledge; pick your battles; don't be an easy target; get support.