UP OR DOWN
UP or DOWN?
Does this action move the conflict UP & make situation worse or move the conflict DOWN and make the situation better?
Listen to the other person
You are on the bus. There are some younger students being loud and throwing things. You use positive self-talk to tell yourself “I can handle this. I can stay calm until I get home.” What moving the conflict DOWN skill did you jus use?
Listening to your inner voice
Carol and Henry have different interests and different opinions. Henry always thinks he is right. Henry went around telling everyone that Carol was weird and stupid. Henry started telling Carol to go sit far away from him every time he saw her. What 2 things did Henry do that made the conflict worse and moved the conflict UP?
•Talked behind someone’s back
•&
•Was bossy
Conflict scenario: Charity broke her friend’s purse What can she do to that would move the conflict DOWN.
She can tell the truth
You have just got in the car for a family movie and your Mom realizes she forgot to get her cell phone. If she goes back to get her cell phone; you will be late and possibly miss out on having fun. What do you do?
•Let go of being mad at Mom and agree to be late to the movie
You had a bad day at home and a terrible bus ride into school. You tell Mrs. Cutshall you are upset and need a break. What moving the conflict DOWN skill did you jus use?
•Taking a break
Carol tripped Henry because she was so mad at him for bossing her around and talking about her. What Carol do that made the conflict worse and moved the conflict UP?
•Tried to get pay back
Conflict scenario: Your little brother is being really loud and you can’t hear the television.
What can you do that would move the conflict DOWN.
Offer to watch a show he likes if he will sit down with you
Your classmate is having a hard day and is upset with a sibling. Your classmate can’t keep up with the schedule and you had to miss gym. What do you do?
•Use a calm voice and tell your classmate you hope they feel better
You feel upset that you still cannot use the computer or video games because the computer crashed. Your parent has taken the computer to be repaired and it will be 2 days before the computer is fixed. You decided to read and watch television instead of playing video games. What moving the conflict DOWN skill did you jus use?
Do something different
You tell a teammate about a guy/girl who you have a crush on. You finally ask your crush out on a date, and he/she says yes. During the date, you run into your teammate, who starts flirting with your crush right in front of you. You get angry and yell at your teammate. You grab your date and walk away. The next day at team practice, your teammate calls you a ‘baby’ and jokes about almost stealing your date.
Instead of yelling at your teammate when he/she interrupted your date, what could you have said or done to diffuse the situation?
Take your date by the hand and walked away
Your friends are great one-on-one. But when they get together, they’re like boorish marauders. It really bothers you when they make fun of people with disabilities. How can you address this without being drawn and quartered yourself?
Make friends with person with the disability.
You are at school. You are missing your favorite pen and your calculator. You see a calculator that looks like your calculator on another student’s desk. What do you do?
•Use a calm voice and ask a teacher for help.
You broke the lamp on your Dad’s desk. He comes home and asks the whole family what happened to the lamp. You reply, “I don’t know. It was not me.” What did you just do that made the conflict worse and moved the conflict UP?
You lied
You know you’ve failed your math quiz, even though you studied. You talk to your teacher after class to express your frustration with the quiz, and to let him or her know that you studied geometry problems for two hours. When your teacher hands out the graded papers, he or she loudly jokes, “Guess you study as well as you do math,” and hands you a paper with an “F” on it.
What could you have said or done when your math teacher made fun of your quiz grade that would have de-escalated the situation?
You could have gone to the dean of students and ask for help
You brought a great present for your friend to his Bar Mitzvah party. Three months later you’ve heard nothing from him, and you’re wondering why. You could send a “Thanks for nothing” note, or… What’s a better way to handle this?
Ask him if he liked your gift
You are at school. Another student just made fun of your shoes What do you do?
Make a joke about them too
There are a group of star-bellied Lions that won’t allow no-star-bellie Lions to have lunch with them. What the Lions just do that made the conflict worse and moved the conflict UP?
Exclusion
Your best friend spends half the time you’re together texting other friends. You think of sending your friend a text saying, “PUT DOWN YOUR STUPID PHONE AND BE WITH ME!” Maybe there’s a better solution. What is it?
Excuse yourself and leave.
You’re at a restaurant with friends. You all chip in, but as you leave, you notice the kid who paid the bill didn’t leave a tip. How can you handle this so the server isn’t stiffed and your friend isn’t miffed?
Leave a tip yourself quietly. Don't say anything.