"I" Messages
Your best friend is constantly late to events. Give an example of an "I" statement.
Examples: Hey, I hate being late for movies because all of the good seats are gone. Will you be willing to be there fifteen minutes early.
The statement, "You are a jerk" can cause ______ response.
Hostile
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Your mom is mad at you because you didn't do your chores this week. Give an example of an "I" statement to respond to your mom.
Example: I know you don't like excuses, but can I explain why I didn't get to my chores this week?
Rephrase, "are you stupid" with a non-hostile phrase.
Example: Would you be willing to help me understand why you did that? (Be careful of vocal tone).
Feeling anxious before and during a conversation that deals with conflict is normal. Should you prepare before the conversation?
It depends on the relationship and the priority that the issue needs to be resolved. Typically preparing ahead of time can help you control emotions and with how you want to start the conversation.
In math class, the kid behind you keeps asking you for the answers during tests. Give an "I" statement that will resolve the issue.
Example: When you ask for answers during a test it causes me to feel conflicted between being helpful and cheating. I'm willing to help explain the process for solving the problem before the test but I will not respond during tests.
Rephrase the statement, "You always criticize how I load the dishwasher. You don't trust me."
Example: When I load the dishes in the dishwasher I'm trying to be helpful but when I'm criticized on how it's loaded it makes feel unappreciated. Can you help me understand why I can't load the dishwasher my way?
Some people see vulnerability as a weakness. How does being vulnerable allow for more open communication?
If you're truly being vulnerable and you show that to others. It helps you be open to what others have to say and it helps others to be open to the conversation.
Your relationship with your boyfriend isn't working for you anymore. Give an example of an "I" statement to break up with him.
Example: This is difficult for me to say, but my feelings have changed towards you. I don't want to cause you any more pain than is needed, but I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore.
"You" statements have a tendency to make global accusations. For example, "you ruin everything!" How does global accusations and "you" statements break down communication?
The term "you", directs the statement at the other person and when the statement is overstated, "you ruin everything" it can be offensive. Does the other person really ruin "everything"? No. It also closes your mind to other explanations that are reasonable.
You received a new shirt for you birthday. A few days later you go to wear this shirt and you can't find it. You later notice that you're sister is wearing it without asking, how do you respond?
An example: Hey I've noticed that you borrowed my shirt. In the future I'd really appreciate it if you asked first before you just take it. Does this work for you?