Gadgets
Jack channels his inner Wolverine to tear apart fresh pulpork with this gadget
Meat Claws
Mail order diet plan
Profile by Sanford
Time for a zoom in shot when you hear this
Come on in Close
Corrupt government scientists collectively fool the world into believing this out-of-this-world accomplishment
Moon landing
Cheese, Pineapple, Jello, Bell Peppers
Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad
Get touchy with these failed spud gloves
Tater Mitts
Patriotic H2O
All American Water
Glaze Jack's wife with official CWJ merch of this catch phrase
Everyone needs a Tammy
Don't eat these! They'll kill you!
Vegetables
Canned baked beans and mayonnaise
Salad Night
This whackable gadget undercooked Jack's omelettes
Slap Chop
War monger and failed burger restaurant
Jumbo and Delicious
The recipe is out of the park when you hear this catch phrase
Home Run Recipe
These murder houses made bank during the non-existent COVID pandemic
Hospitals
Eggs and micro-plastics
Lazy Man's Omelette
Reading the directions would have prevented this indoor grill from exploding
Red Copper 5 Minute Chef
USS Charleston and Japanese... ship
World of Warships
You know a Italian restaurant is good when this boomer-ism is true
If the marinara is warm, the restaurant is good
It was an inside job for this late traveling food critic
Anthony Bourdain
Exotic alternative beef, raw
BISON TACOS & BURGERS
This theraputic glove was used in a brief effort to rehabilitate a Scalfani appendage
SaeboGlove
20 minutes a day in this steamy room helps achy muscles, immunity, and arthritis
Cedric's Sauna
Verbal award given to megacorps winning Jack's approval
Congralutions ___!
Move over Trump, this deep state Democrat is poised to take over the presidency any day now
Michelle Obama
Chicken, Vegetables, and Blood
McCormick Bag 'N Season