coping skills
What is a coping skill?
Coping skills are strategies we use to help calm our bodies and brains when we feel flooded with big emotions. They can be positive or negative.
Coping skills are used to make bad feelings go away
False! All your feelings are okay. The goal of a coping skill is to bring that hard feeling down to a manageable level.
Talking to a friend
Healthy! Just make sure you have your friend's consent to hear about what you need to talk about.
Your friend made a joke about your secret crush. You know they are only kidding, but you feel embarrassed, ashamed, and angry. You can feel tears in your eyes and your throat feels tight. You want to scream at them.
Walk away and get some space. Take some slow, deep breaths. Cry if you need to. Write about it, draw about it, talk to a safe person about your feelings. When you feel calmer, think about what you can say to your friend.
When using breathing to calm down, we should fill our ______ with air
Bellies
All coping skills work for everyone
False. People respond differently to different coping skills, and sometimes what works for one person does not work for another.
Isolating
Unhealthy. It's okay to need alone time, but make sure you know how to connect with others when you need to.
Your parents are getting divorced. You feel surprised, angry, and uncertain. It's really hard to talk to either of them right now.
Talk to a friend or a counselor. Write or draw about your feelings.
Name three coping skills you can use at home
Listening to music, talking to a family member, petting a cat/dog/chinchilla, making a cup of tea or cocoa, belly breathing, moving your body, etc.
You have to talk about your stress to feel better
False. Talking about feelings is great! But sometimes other coping skills are better in the moment, like drawing or writing about it, using a distraction, or moving your body.
Going for a walk
Healthy! Moving our bodies helps us relax, decrease stress, and releases feel-good hormones called endorphins.
You're in class and you feel an anxiety attack coming on. It's not possible to get up and walk away.
Take a long, slow breath into your belly. Do an activity that engages all five senses. Write down your thoughts. Tell yourself "I am safe."
Name one healthy way you can cope with stress at school
Write it down, talk to a friend, take some belly breaths, do a grounding activity
Every coping skill is a healthy coping skill
False. Sometimes people can use unhealthy strategies (like isolating, lashing out, or using drugs or alcohol) to make themselves feel better temporarily
Creating art
Healthy. Expressive arts help us share our feelings and thoughts when we have trouble putting them into words.
You have been invited to a party with some kids you don't know well. You're excited, but you keep thinking you're going to embarrass yourself or they'll judge you. You're not sure you even want to do.
Draw or write about your worries. Talk to a safe person. Engage your senses (make a hot cup of tea and feel the warmth on your hands, etc).
What are some unhealthy ways people cope with stress?
Ignoring it/bottling it up, isolating, using drugs/alcohol, risky behavior, lashing out at others
Coping skills take practice
True! Sometimes a new coping skill may feel awkward at first. Practicing it in a calm moment may help.
Punching a pillow
Unhealthy! We used to think that punching a "safe" object like a pillow helped when people feel angry, but it actually increases our need for a physical outlet when angry and can lead to more unhealthy behaviors like punching walls or people. Instead, try a different kind of physical movement like going for a walk or a run, doing pushups, or dancing (yes, really).
You are so stressed for a test that studying feels impossible. Instead, you just want to lie down and sleep until the stress goes away. What can you do?
Take a long, slow breath. Take a break, walk around, talk to a friend. Make a study plan that is broken into small, doable steps. Take breaks as needed.