BLOOD PRODUCTS
This test measures the amount of hemoglobin with attached glucose and reflects your average blood glucose levels over the past 3 months. If it's 15, forget about having your surgery at FHSC!
What is the hemoglobin A1C test?
I like to work patiently with residents who take their sweet time.
Who is Dr. Alexander?
Lanie commuted from this city five day a week, for six years.
What is Marysville?
A dreaded email from Susan Lee.
What is a medication discrepancy?
These are never patient satisfiers.
What are nausea, pain or bleeding instructions?
It doesn't matter if a patient is exsanguinating, we do not offer this at FHSC.
What is a blood transfusion?
"Oh, that bloody drip. Don't you worry about that!"
Who is Dr. Chu?
Albert (anesthesia tech)went to the same high school as this person at our surgery center.
Who is Casey?
DO NOT DISTURB!!!!
What are the rules around the pyxis?
Not well sized, discombobulated, one size does not always fit all.
What is an arm sling?
Rhogam is given to a patient, usually in post op, once awake from surgery unfortunately, because she has this blood type.
What is Rh negative?
One On Q Pump to go please!
Who is Dr. Marion?
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) does not recommend that the general public wear this to protect themselves from respiratory diseases, including coronavirus (COVID-19).
What is a N-95 mask?
One of the most painful FHSC surgeries.
I know you are painful but you'll have to fill these tomorrow since you live on an island and it's 8pm at night!
What are prescriptions?
Sorry, we no longer do this prior to surgery, but we do offer running a lab draw over to the First Hill Lab.
What is an I-STAT?
Band-aid man.
Who is Dr. Hein?
Call this guy if Dr. Rotkis, Dr. Gillette, Dr. De la Ossa, or Dr. Griffin need assistance with EPIC orders.
Who is Robert Waterman?
The antidote to Midazolam.
What is flumazenil?
Acetaminophen, Gabapentin, Celebrex.
What are multimodals?
BATminton
(hint: This is an answer to a joke)
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
I can't write a prescription to save my life!
Who is Dr. Rotkis?
The Polyclinic was established in this year by six physicians.
What is 1917?
This historic use by women, is Italian for "beautiful lady". Drops prepared from this plant were used to dilate women's pupils, an effect considered to be attractive and seductive.
At FHSC, these are today used for relief of moderate to severe pain associated with ureteral spasm not responsive to non-narcotic analgesics.
What is a Belladonna suppository?
The virus that came by and swept the carpet beneath our feet.