The Con Game
What is an excuse?
A reason someone gives to avoid responsibility for their behavior.
Who is ultimately responsible for your choices?
You are.
What is a consequence?
The result of a choice or behavior.
“Everybody else does it.” What type of thinking is this?
Normalizing/minimizing.
What are values?
Principles or beliefs that guide how we choose to live and behave.
What does it mean to “con” yourself?
To convince yourself that an irresponsible choice is acceptable, justified, or not really your responsibility.
What should you think about before making an important decision?
The possible consequences and whether the choice matches your goals and values.
What type of consequence happens immediately after a behavior?
A short-term/immediate consequence.
“They made me do it.” What type of thinking is this?
Blaming others/denying responsibility.
Name three values that can support responsible living.
Examples: honesty, respect, responsibility, integrity, family, self-control, commitment.
Someone says, “I only did it because my friends told me to.” What is the person doing?
Blaming others/avoiding personal responsibility.
True or False: You control everything that happens to you.
False. You don't control everything that happens, but you can control your response and choices.
Why do people sometimes ignore long-term consequences?
They're focused on immediate rewards, emotions, wants, or relief.
“I deserve to get revenge.” What type of thinking is this?
Justification, entitlement, or revenge thinking.
True or False: Your values are demonstrated by your actions, not just your words.
True.
Someone says, “Nobody was hurt, so it wasn't really wrong.” What is the person doing?
Minimizing the behavior or its consequences.
What's the difference between explaining your behavior and making an excuse?
An explanation identifies what influenced the behavior; an excuse uses that explanation to avoid responsibility.
Name three areas of life criminal behavior can affect.
Possible answers: family, employment, finances, freedom, relationships, reputation, housing, education, emotional well-being.
What is wrong with the statement, “I didn't get caught, so I didn't do anything wrong”?
Getting away with something doesn't make it right or responsible.
Someone says family is their most important value but repeatedly makes choices that hurt their family. What is the problem?
Their actions aren't matching their stated values. (Answers may vary)
Someone says, “I know stealing is wrong, but this company has plenty of money.” Identify the con (thinking error) AND explain why it doesn't make the behavior responsible.
Justification/minimization. The person's belief about the company doesn't change the fact that they chose to steal.
Someone says, “I've always been this way, so I can't change.” Give a responsible response.
Past behavior doesn't have to determine future behavior. Change requires different choices and consistent action. (Answers may vary)
Why can a decision that feels good in the short term still be a terrible decision?
The immediate reward may hide much larger long-term consequences.
Someone says, “I stole because I needed money, but I would've never stolen if I had another option.” What questions should that person ask themselves?
What other options existed? What consequences did I ignore? What choice could I make differently next time? Am I explaining my behavior or excusing it?
Why can values help someone make better decisions?
Values provide a standard for deciding whether a choice supports the person they want to become rather than simply satisfying an immediate want.