Chapter 1
What makes a conversation crucial?
Opinions vary, Stakes are high and Emotions run strong
What is the Fools Choice?
When we resort to violence or silence.
What should you do if you decide to shift topics while having a crucial conversation?
Place a mental bookmark to come back to the original conversation
What principle do those who are best at dialogue apply?
"Work on me first, us second"
What are the 3 types of "Clever stories"?
The amount of time that passes between when the problem emerges and when those involved find a way to honestly and respectfully resolve it.
What is Lag Time?
The exchange of ideas, thoughts or a conversation between two or more people?
What is dialogue?
What is Content, Pattern, and Relationship?
True or False: Our minds are designed to gather data about others, not ourselves.
True
What are your two options once you have emotions?
Who said "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place"?
Who is George Bernard Shaw?
Who said "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter"?
Who is Martin Luther King Jr.?
Who said "A problem well stated is a problem half-solved"?
Who is Charles Kettering?
Who is Ambrose Bierce?
Words that express judgements and attributions that, in turn, create strong emotions.
What are "Hot" Words?
True or False: When it matters we tend to do our best
False (We tend to do our worse)
What makes up the pool of shared meaning?
What is one's own thoughts and feelings that are brought into the conversation?
What are the 3 signs you are having the wrong conversation?
Your emotions escalate, You walk away skeptical, you're in deja vu dialogue.
True or False: The first step in achieving the results we really want is to stop believing that others are the source of all that ails us
True
What is the intermediate step between what others do and how we feel about it?
We tell ourselves a story. We add meaning to the actions we observed.
What two things block the flow of meaning?
What is silence and violence?
What 3 things can restore the flow of meaning in a crucial conversation?
What is Mutual Purpose, Mutual Respect and Mastering our stories?
What are the 3 skills that can help you identify your topic?
What is Unbundle, Choose and Simplify?
What word is required to solve a complex problem?
What is "and"?
What does it mean to master our stories?
What is Tracing your own emotions back to the facts and avoid acting them out of anger or victimhood.