Get Unstuck/ Start with Heart
What are the three elements that make a conversation crucial?
Opposing Opinions, Strong Emotions and High Stakes.
The communication style you revert to when conversations become crucial is known as your ______?
Style Under Stress .
How do you retrace your path to action when a conversation turns crucial?
Separate facts (observations and feelings) from your stories judgements, conclusions, and attributions. You will no longer be controlled by one emotion.
To express your views in ways that maintain safety, you must be confident enough to willingly contribute your ideas and ______ enough not to try to convince and compel others.
Humble
What is one thing you can do to move to action?
Decide how to decide.
Name the three skills you can use to "Get Unstuck"
1. Identify where you are stuck. 2 Backtrack from poor results to the crucial conversation that is keeping you stuck. 3. Step out of content, observe the process, and fix it!
Withdrawing, Avoiding and Masking are forms of which Style Under Stree?
Silence
What are the three clever stories to watch for?
Victim, Villain, and Helpless
What are the exploring skills we use to explore others' path?
AMPP- ASK, MIRROR, PARAPHRASE, PRIME
Command, Consult, Vote, and Consensus
What is the first thing that degrades during a crucial conversation? Hint: it is not our behavior.
Our motives.
What lies in the middle of the Silence to Violence Continuum?
The Pool of Shared Meaning.
What is the humanizing question?
Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this?
If someone is reluctant to share what's on their mind, how can you use the Prime skill to get information from them?
Take a guess at their stories and feelings.
Document who does what by when and follow-up.
In order to " Start with Heart" , you must focus on _____first.
Yourself. Admit that you are the person you should be trying to improve.
Step out of the content of the conversation, make it safe, and then step back in.
What is an example of a sellout?
You believe you should listen respectfully to feedback but become defensive instead.
When do you use Mirroring?
When someone says one thing but their non-verbal behaviors says something else.
What are two barriers to change?
We don't decide well. We make vague and weak commitments.
I can be honest, or I can be kind to my co-workers - is a Sucker's Choice, How can you Refuse the Sucker's Chioce?
Refuse the Sucker's Choice by moving from 'or' thinking to 'and' thinking.
What do the initials CRIB stand for?
Commit to seeking Mutual Purpose and recognize the purpose behind the strategy. Invent a mutual purpose. Brainstorm new strategies.
To tell the rest of your story your new story should do what?
Assess your role in the problem, Humanize the other person, Turn yourself from helpless to able.
What does STATE stand for?
Share your facts, Tell your story. Ask others' paths. Talk tentatively. Encourage.
What are the other two barriers to change
We don't keep our commitments. We don't routinely use our crucial conversation skills.