Memory & Objects
In "In My Mom's Shoes," what physical item becomes a symbol of the narrator’s connection to her mother?
Her mother’s Sperry shoes.
In "In My Mom's Shoes," how does the narrator react when her father says “grief isn't real”?
She refuses to let him define her grief; she shouts, screams, kicks, expresses anger and wishes he had died instead.
What year does the narrator recall sitting in a therapist’s office?
2005.
"Eating Together," name one food image used and state what meal it describes.
Trout seasoned with ginger and green onion for lunch.
Name two specific details about the Sperrys that emphasize their age and the memories attached to them.
Soft, beige, stretched leather; soles beginning to split/no grip (evidence of wear).
Identify one coping behavior the narrator’s father displays after his wife's death.
He keeps possessions unchanged, hoards, and avoids letting go; he preserves the past in the house.
List the sequence of years mentioned in Kat Chow’s narrative (provide at least two distinct timestamps shown in the text)
2005, 2013, 2015, 2016 (any two of these).
In Chow’s piece, what figurative image does the narrator use to describe her father trailing her in the mall?
“Trailing me… like a ghost.”
How does the narrator physically experience her mother through the shoes when she first wears them in D.C.? Give one sensory detail from the text.
She feels her mother's imprint in the shoes (toe alignment, heel dents); sensory detail: heat/sweat mingling with old leather.
Describe a moment from "Eating Together" that implies the family’s emotional state after the father’s death (use textual detail).
The poem shows family gathered around the trout; the father “lay down to sleep… lonely,” implying grief and absence after his death.
: How does Chow use shifts in time (e.g., dates like 2005, 2013, 2015, 2016) to show the narrator’s changing relationship to grief? Give one specific change tied to a date.
2005 therapist visit shows acute grief; by 2013 she can wear the shoes in public and is more reflective; by 2015–16 she cycles between forgetting and holding on — shows gradual change and normalization over time.
Identify and explain one metaphor or simile from either text that conveys loneliness or loss.
grief as a “barnacle, relentless” (metaphor); loneliness as “a snow-covered road” (simile) — both evoke stuckness and isolation.
Explain how objects left unchanged in the house (newspapers, basket of laundry) contribute to the father's portrayal after the mother's death.
They show stagnation and hoarding — the house frozen in time, suggesting his inability to move on and stay emotionally stuck.
How does the narrator in Chow’s piece show internal conflict about keeping the shoe? Provide one line of reasoning she uses.
She vacillates between wanting to lose it (freedom) and panic at losing it (clinging); she imagines it being freed and later panics when it goes missing — indicating ambivalence.
Describe how the single stanza of "Eating Together" creates a sense of time compared with the episodic dated sections in "In My Mom’s Shoes."
"Eating Together" compresses a domestic moment into one immediate scene; Chow’s dated sections show grief unfolding across years.
How does Chow’s use of small, everyday details (watch not set, spilled gin and tonic on shoe) build tone? Give one example
Small details ground grief in daily life, creating an intimate, melancholic tone; e.g., the watch not set shows time disorientation.
Compare the symbolic meaning of the trout’s “sweetest meat of the head” in "Eating Together" to the Sperrys in Kat Chow’s piece. How do both objects convey memory or loss?
Trout head: family ritual and memory of the father (shared meal memory); Sperrys: personal, physical link to the mother—both objects anchor memory and loss but one is communal (meal) and one is intimate/personal (shoe)
Compare how the two texts show private vs. communal responses to loss. Use one example from each text
Chow: more private/internal, narrated memory and objects (Sperrys); Lee: communal ritual (family eating the trout) that hints at collective mourning.
Explain how pacing (short episodes over many years vs. a single reflective moment) affects the reader’s understanding of long-term vs. immediate grief in the two texts.
Chow’s episodic dates emphasize long-term evolution and the way grief integrates into life; Lee’s concentrated moment emphasizes the immediacy of loss and communal memory.
Analyze how the line “to be in a state of grief… it is a barnacle, relentless” functions as an extended image. What does it suggest about grief’s relationship to identity and time?
The barnacle image suggests grief attaches and grows with you, is hard to remove, and becomes part of identity — persistent across time, weighing or defining movement.
Both texts portray grief as something that persists over time, but they show it through different lenses—Kat Chow traces personal objects and dated life episodes to show grief becoming part of daily life, while Li-Young Lee compresses memory into a shared family ritual that hints at absence and continuing longing. In one sentence, explain how each text’s approach shapes the reader’s sense of how grief endures.
Long-Term Grief Chow’s dated, episodic approach makes grief feel like a persistent thread woven into everyday life, showing gradual change and recurring attachment; Lee’s compressed ritual scene concentrates feeling into a single shared moment, making absence and longing feel immediate and communal.