In or Out
Examples of things inside your circle:
Your actions, words, and effort
The first step in the cycle that triggers an anxious response:
A trigger (situation, thought, or feeling)
What you can control even when you cannot control the outcome:
Your effort and attitude
The primary emotion that drives us to avoid:
Fear or Anxiety
The best, small-step approach to breaking the cycle of avoidance:
Gradual exposure
Examples of things outside your circle:
The weather, the past, other people's opinions.
The "reward" of avoiding a fear:
Short-term relief
The action of setting boundaries to feel safer:
Saying "no" or limiting time in toxic situations
A physical sign that you might be feeling the need to avoid:
Racing heart or shallow breathing.
A physical coping skill to calm the body:
Deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation
What to do when a problem is "outside" your circle:
Accept it and focus on your reaction to it.
Why avoidance is called a "trap":
It strengthens the fear, making it harder to face next time.
How self-compassion helps you take back control:
Allowing yourself to make mistakes without harsh judgment
True or False: Avoidance is a healthy long-term coping mechanism.
False
A cognitive coping skill to change thoughts:
Challenging and reframing negative thoughts (e.g., "What if I fail?" becomes "I can handle this.").
The result of focusing only on things you cannot control:
Increased anxiety and feelings of powerlessness.
The long-term consequence of avoidance:
Reduced confidence and limited opportunities.
The goal of "taking back control":
Moving toward, rather than away from, what scares you
A "safety behavior" used to avoid fully experiencing a situation:
Bringing a "security blanket" (e.g., phone, friend) to a social event.
A technique to stay in the present moment:
Grounding (e.g., 5-4-3-2-1 method)
True or False: You have control over how other people treat you.
False
A common mental form of avoidance:
Procrastination or overthinking
A daily habit that helps you take back control:
Journaling or practicing mindfulness
The belief that drives avoidance:
“I am not capable of handling this situation”
What to do instead of running away from a feeling:
"Sit with" the emotion and acknowledge it