Question and Answer
What is green and pear shaped?
A pear.
What is an astronauts favorite part of the computer?
The space bar.
Why does the Swedish navy have barcodes on their ships?
So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Why are elevator jokes always good and classic?
They work on so many levels.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing the job.
What is blue and smells like green paint?
Blue paint.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
Still no idea.
What were my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket.
Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket!
What does a hungry clock do?
Go back 4 seconds.
How many apples grow on an apple tree?
All of them.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did’t the ghost go to the party?
Because he had nobody to go with.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are very good at it.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle, and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
What is ET short for?
Because he has tiny legs.
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had too many problems.