Billion Dollar Lawyer
Daddy's first salary as a public defender
What is $18,000?
Daddy's shiksa first wife
Who is Anne?
If you talk while Daddy is on the phone, you will get this notorious gesture in response
What is "the hand?"
Daddy rivals a gorilla in the abundance of this physical feature
What is back hair?
Instead of giving literally any gift of significance, Daddy would famously gift this item year after year for birthdays (Bonus: There is another repeat gift)
What is an iPod?
Bonus: What is a Nike watch?
This case in the early 2000's arguably single-handedly changed the course of Daddy's career
What is BMF, or who is Big Meech?
"He never caused me trouble except with ______." -Grandma 92,038,492,751 times
What are "the girls?"
The quickest way Daddy can make Maddie cry is by bullying her to do this
What is going to law school?
Grandma always said women would kill for this part of Daddy's body
What are his legs?
Daddy has called this the biggest "cockblock"
Who is Zack?
The is the fictional rapper Maddie created to describe how daddy talks about his new client that's "the hottest thing right now"
Who is "Lil Poopy Pants?"
Daddy answered the phone in this situation when mommy called daddy from her boyfriend's NYC apartment to profess her love for him
What is "in bed with a hot Black court reporter?"
Daddy is notorious for breaking this object of Samantha's as punishment
What is a flip phone?
These tiny things adorn daddy's back and we still don't know what the heck they are
What are red things?
Mantha and Maddie single-handedly saved Mommy and Daddy's marriage with this song (not to brag)
What is "Kiss The Girl?"
It is a little known fact that daddy briefly did this type of law before becoming a public defender
What is real estate law?
Daddy did this cruel, heartbreaking thing to someone in his freshman year of college
What is breaking up with his 17-year old anorexic girlfriend?
Daddy used to say this to Mantha when she was having a panic attack
What is "What are you doing???"
Zack caused Daddy to need surgery on this part of his body because he poked it so much
What is a bellybutton?
These are the famous ingredients Grandma used to make Daddy kugel once
What are noodles, cottage cheese and Splenda?
Daddy said this bizarre thing at the end of his speech at Mercer University honoring Deryl Dantzler. It still haunts him to this day.
Daddy famously ran to his car to write down Pippi's phone number in this book
What is The Executioner's Song?
Because he's a great dad, Daddy did this for Zack on a visit to Arizona
What is writing one paper while Zack wrote another paper?
Daddy's thyroid scar is this long and this shape
What is a 14" hockey stick?
Maddie was conceived in this city with Pippi in what state of mind?
What is drunk in San Antonio?