National Parks
The only National Park with a middlingly rockin Bruce Springsteen Song
Badlands National Park
Novel about traveling to California that David read while traveling to California
Grapes of Wrath
While in the military, this President committed literal big G Genocide of the Seminole peoples in Florida and all anyone ever gets mad at him for is the*checks notes* Trail of Tears.
Andrew Jackson
This City is stupid because you shouldn't need a car to get anywhere you need to go and also my new sister in laws much cooler family lives there
Los Angeles
The only National Park with a pretty freaking sweet rockin U2 album
Joshua Tree National Park
Novel that David wrote an essay about in 10th grade that his classmates read and accused him of not knowing anything about alcohol because his inability to understand the famous party scene at Doc's house
Cannery Row
David doesn't feel like people talk enough about how bad this President who allowed the KKK to rise after the Civil War was
Andrew Johnson
This City is stupid because when I got there the Harry Truman library was closed and I ate barbecue alone
Kansas City
Located primarily on an island in Lake Superior where David got charged by a freakin moose
Isle Royale National Park
Cain and Abel story about the similar strife through American generations that David read while driving on a road trip and hoping it would speak to him. It did not.
East of Eden
This President appointed the first female cabinet member, who is also the longest serving Secretary of Labor.
Franklin "FDR" Delano Roosevelt
This city is stupid because I got turned off of Route 40 in a rainstorm and almost drove into the Mississippi River
Memphis
Wind Cave National Park
Novel that David read in 10th grade two roaming farmworkers in Great Depression California that I promise freaking holds up
Of Mice and Men
This President freakin lived with his inlaws near Kansas City like a nerd before becoming David's favorite President
Harry "The Big S" S Truman
This City is Stupid because Keith got our uber driver super freaking hyped about yggdrasil when we were there
Rapid City
Where David watched a wild horse charge a lady in North Dakota
Theodore Roosevelt National Park
Novel sited in Steinbeck's 1962 Nobel Prize, titled after a quote from Shakespeare's Richard III
The Winter of Our Discontent
This President had his memoirs published by Mark freakin Twain
Ulysses S. Grant
This city is stupid because this freakin guy had the audacity to think I knew French like the moment I got there with Jennifer and poutine is trash
Quebec City