Biological Changes
-Muscles tightening.
• Teeth clamping together.
• Hands clenching.
• Feeling your face flush or get hot.
• Feeling like you are going to explode.
•Wanting to hit someone, bang the wall, throw
something, blow up.
••Wanting to hurt someone
What is anger?
Doing or thinking something you believe is
wrong.
•• Doing or thinking something that violates your
personal values.
•• Not doing something you said that you would
do.
•• Committing a transgression against another
person or something you value.
•• Causing harm/damage to another person or
object.
•• Being reminded of something wrong you did
in the past.
What is guilt?
Physically or verbally attacking.
•• Making aggressive or threatening gestures.
•• Pounding, throwing things, breaking things.
••Walking heavily, stomping, slamming doors.
••Walking out.
•• Using a loud, quarrelsome, or sarcastic voice.
•• Using obscenities or swearing.
•• Criticizing or complaining.
•• Clenching your hands or fists.
What is anger?
culpability
remorse
apologetic
regret
sorry
What is guilt?
Narrowing of attention.
•• Seeing the worst in others.
•• Being mistrustful across the board.
•• Being hypervigilant to threats to your
relationships.
•• Becoming isolated or withdrawn.
What is jealousy?
Breathlessness.
•• Fast heartbeat.
•• Choking sensation, lump in throat.
•• Muscles tensing, cramping.
•• Clenching teeth.
•• Feeling nauseated.
•• Feeling your hairs standing on end.
•• Feeling of “butterflies” in stomach.
••Wanting to run away or avoid things.
What is fear?
An important relationship is threatened or in
danger of being lost.
•• A potential competitor pays attention to
someone you love.
Your partner appears to flirt with someone
else.
•• A person you are romantically involved with
looks at someone else.
•• You find the person you love is having an
affair with someone else.
What is jealousy?
Fleeing, running away.
•• Running or walking hurriedly.
•• Hiding from or avoiding what you fear.
•• Engaging in nervous, fearful talk.
•• Pleading or crying for help.
•• Talking less or becoming speechless.
•• Screaming or yelling.
•• Darting eyes or quickly looking around.
•• Frozen stare.
What is fear?
anxiety
apprehension
horror
nervousness
worry
What is fear?
Being courteous or friendly to others.
•• Doing nice things for other people.
•• Having a positive outlook; seeing the bright
side.
•• Having a high threshold for worry or
annoyance.
•• Remembering and imagining other times you
have felt joyful.
What is happiness?
Feeling excited and full of energy.
•• Fast heartbeat.
•• Feeling self-confident.
•• Feeling invulnerable.
•• Feeling happy, joyful, or exuberant.
•• Feeling warm, trusting, and secure.
•• Feeling relaxed and calm.
What is love?
Receiving a wonderful surprise.
•• Reality exceeding your expectations.
•• Getting what you want.
•• Getting something you have worked hard for
or worried about.
•• Things turning out better than you thought
they would.
•• Being successful at a task.
•• Receiving esteem, respect, or praise.
•• Receiving love, liking, or affection.
•• Being accepted by others.
What is happiness?
Avoiding things.
•• Acting helpless; staying in bed; being
inactive.
•• Moping, brooding, or acting moody.
•• Making slow, shuffling movements.
••Withdrawing from social contact.
•• Avoiding activities that used to bring pleasure.
•• Giving up and no longer trying to improve.
What is sadness?
bitterness
covetous
craving
longing
wishful
discontented
What is envy?
Not being able to remember happy things.
•• Feeling irritable, touchy, or grouchy.
•• Yearning and searching for the thing lost.
•• Having a negative outlook.
•• Blaming or criticizing yourself.
•• Ruminating about sad events in the past.
•• Insomnia.
What is sadness?
Feeling tired, run down, or low in energy.
•• Feeling lethargic, listless; wanting to stay in
bed all day.
•• Feeling as if nothing is pleasurable any more.
•• Pain or hollowness in your chest or gut.
•• Feeling empty.
•• Feeling as if you can’t stop crying, or if you
ever start crying you will never be able to
stop.
•• Difficulty swallowing.
What is sadness?
Having your life, your health, or your wellbeing
threatened.
•• Being in the same situation (or a similar one)
where you have been threatened or gotten
hurt in the past, or where painful things have
happened.
•• Flashbacks.
•• Being in situations where you have seen
others threatened or be hurt.
•• Being in a new or unfamiliar situation.
•• Being alone
What is fear?
Trying to repair the harm, make amends for the wrongdoing, fix the damage, change the
outcome.
•• Asking for forgiveness, apologizing, confessing.
•• Giving gifts/making sacrifices to try to make up for the transgression.
•• Bowing your head; kneeling before the person.
What is guilt?
agitation
annoyance
fury
rage
wrath
What is anger?
Avoiding thinking about your transgression;
shutting down; blocking all emotions.
•• Engaging in distracting, impulsive behaviors
to divert your mind or attention.
•• High amount of “self-focus”; preoccupation
with yourself.
•• Depersonalization, dissociative experiences,
numbness, or shock.
•• Attacking or blaming others.
•• Conflicts with other people.
•• Isolation, feeling alienated.
What is shame?
Pain in the pit of the stomach.
•• Sense of dread.
••Wanting to shrink down and/or disappear.
••Wanting to hide or cover your face and body.
What is shame?
Seeing/smelling human or animal waste
products.
•• Having a person or an animal that is dirty,
slimy, or unclean come close to you.
•• Tasting something or being forced to swallow
something you really don’t want.
•• Seeing or being near a dead body.
•• Touching items worn or owned by a stranger,
dead person, or disliked person.
•• Observing or hearing about a person who
grovels or who strips another person of
dignity.
•• Seeing blood; getting blood drawn.
What is disgust?
Hiding behavior or a characteristic from other
people.
•• Avoiding the person you have harmed.
•• Avoiding persons who have criticized you.
•• Avoiding yourself—distracting, ignoring.
••Withdrawing; covering the face.
•• Bowing your head, groveling.
•• Appeasing; saying you are sorry over and
over and over.
•• Looking down and away from others.
What is shame?
joy
relief
gladness
pride
thrill
What is happiness?
Making resolutions to change.
•• Making changes in behavior.
•• Joining self-help programs.
What is guilt?