Interpersonal Effectiveness
The first and most important interpersonal skill
What is clarifying your goals?
DEAR MAN is an acronym to remember these types of skills.
What is objectives effectiveness?
GIVE is an acronym to remember these types of skills.
What is relationship effectiveness?
FAST is an acronym to remember these types of skills.
What are self respect effectiveness?
Objective Effectiveness
getting what you want
The key question for this effectiveness skill is "What specific result or change do I want from this interaction?"
What is objectives effectiveness?
DEAR MAN are a set of skills enabling you to effectively do this.
What is obtain your objective or goal?
GIVE are a set of skills enabling you to do this.
What is create or maintain a positive relationship while you also try to obtain your objective?
FAST are a set of skills enabling you to do this.
What is maintain or increase your sense of self-respect while at the same time trying to obtain your objective?
Relationship Effectiveness
Keeping the relationship
The key question for this effectiveness skill is ‘How do I want the other person to feel about me after the interaction is over (whether or not I get the results or changes I want)?'
What is relationship effectiveness?
The letters in DEAR MAN stand for this.
What are describe, express, assert, reinforce, mindful, appear confident, negotiate?
The letters in GIVE stand for this.
What are (Be) Gentle, (Act) Interested, Validate, (Use an) Easy Manner?
The letters in FAST stand for this.
What are (Be) Fair, (No) Apologies, Stick to Values, (Be truthful?
Self Respect Effectiveness
Keeping respect for yourself
The key question for this effectiveness skill is ‘How do I want to feel about myself after the interaction is over (whether or not I get the results or changes I want)?'
What is self-respect effectiveness?
This is is the step in DEAR MAN in which you ask for what you want clearly.
What is assert wishes?
This is the skill in GIVE in which you listen to the other person's point of view, opinion, or reasons.
What is (Act) Interested?
This is when you apologize for every little thing that it degrades your relationship/
What is over apologizing?
What is the type of effectiveness that you (if thinking healthy) will always want to prioritize.
Self Respect Effectiveness
In addition to having an ability, to have a skill you must be able to do these two things.
What are observe the effect and modify what you do based on the feedback?
This is the step in DEAR MAN in which you may need to adjust what you are asking for or give to get.
What is Negotiate?
This is the skill in GIVE in which you show the other person that you understand why the other person is feeling, thinking, or doing something.
What it is Validate?
This FAST skill is when you are not lying or exaggerating to get your point across.
What is (Be) Truthful?
What is a time (give a specific example) of when you adjust your goal to keep a relationship.
eg. a grandparent let goes of something to be able to see/monitor grandchildren.
eg. you totally disagree with your boss about something, but you hold off saying something to keep your job, and wait for another opportunity.
(Negotiation skill)