Objective/DEARMAN
What is the skills used for getting what you want?
DEARMAN
Looking for people who are similar to you, Working on communication skills, and/or Finding common grounds are all part of what?
Building healthy relationships
True or False: Sometimes its appropriate to lie. Act helpless when you are not. Exaggerate or make up excuses.
FALSE
Identify an personal example of when you would use DEARMAN skills?
Asking for a promotion, asking for money, a place to stay, asking for a pass or ride.
Which one is talking or arguing? Asking questions to try to trip up the other person
Arguing
Letter in DEARMAN used when you stick to the facts
D: Describe
This type of effectiveness is used for keeping or improving the relationship while trying to achieve your goal.
What is Relationship Effectiveness - GIVE
Standing up for yourself. Defending a friend. Doing or saying something that takes courage. Voting for what you believe in (even if you are in the minority). Are all examples of what?
Self-respect effectiveness
What are two different factors that can effect our ability to have healthy relationships/interpersonal effectiveness?
lack of skills, indecision, interference from emotions, short-term goals over long-term goals, the environment, the way we are raised, unhealthy beliefs/myths
What are three different types of relationships?
Acquaintances, Friends, Colleagues/Co-workers, Intimate partner, Family Member
True or False: We can always get what we want, somehow?
False, there are some things in life that we can't get
What are two ways you can 'Act interested"?
direct eye contact, listening, asking questions, summarizing, open body language
What four letter acronym is used to maintain self-respect? *Bonus* 100 Points if you can identify what each letter stands for.
F.A.S.T.
(be) Fair
(no) Apologies
Stick to Values
(be) Truthful
Allowing for individuality, bringing out the best qualities in partner and experiencing true intimacy are all signs of what?
A Healthy Relationship
What are three signs of when you need to leave a relationship?
At the first sign of violence, intimidation or threats. When you realize you are having more bad times than good. When there is an unresolvable lack of trust. If you are uncomfortable or fearful. If your partner's actions are harming your self-respect. You find your identity is fading away. if you realize you don't love your partner.
Which letter in DEARMAN describes: using a confident voice, and making good eye contact, instead stammering, whispering, staring at the floor or retreating.
A: Appear Confident
Communicating to another person, that the other person's feelings, thoughts, and actions are understandable to you, given his or her past or current situation is the definition of what?
Validation
What is self-respect effectiveness?
keeping or improving your self-respect, values and beliefs while trying to obtain your objective.
"What will my friend think?" or "i'd probably screw it up anyways" are examples of these things that get in the way of effectiveness?
Worry thoughts
Identify three factors that keep us in unhealthy relationships?
because we think they are normal or healthy. Hoping things will get better. We think violence and/or jealousy are signs of love. Children. Fear of "dying along". Manipulation. Afraid to leave due to violence or threats. Financial reasons/housing.
Role Play: You want to ask someone to get you a soda. Use a DEARMAN
Use a DEARMAN
What do the letters in acronym GIVE stand for?
(be) Gentle
(act) Interested
Validate
(use an) Easy Manner
Describe how you would Stick to your own values?
Don't sell out your values or integrity for reasons that aren't very important. Be clear on what you believe is the moral or valued way of thinking and acting, and "stick to your guns".
Situation: Jim's younger sister asks him to cover for her and tell their parents she spend the night at Jim's place, which is not true.
Identify the Objective: Relationship: Self-respect: of this situation
Objective: keep his sister out of trouble
Relationship: Maintain a good relationship with his sister
Self-respect: not violate his moral code of not lying
Mutual trust, honest, communication, balance of power and individuality are all signs of what type of relationship?
Equal/accepting relationship