DBT #1
What are the three goals, and priorities of Interpersonal Effectiveness?
1. Keeping and maintaining healthy relationships. (GIVE)
2. Getting somebody to do what you want (DEAR MAN)
3. Maintaining your self respect (FAST)
What does the D in DEAR MAN represent?
Describe
Describe the situation. Stick to the facts.
What does the 2nd A in DEAR MAN represent?
Appear Confident.
Make and maintain eye contact. Use a confident voice, do not whisper, mumble, or give up and say "whatever."
What does the G in the GIVE Skill represent?
Gentle
What does the T in the FAST skill represent?
Truthful
Don't lie
Don't act helpless when you are not
Don't make up excuses or exaggerate
What is the give skill?
Approaching someone in an easy manner, being gentle, interesting and validating to their thoughts and emotions.
What does the E in DEAR MAN represent?
Express
Express your feelings by using "I" statements.
What does the N in DEAR MAN represent?
Negotiate
Be willing to give, to get. Offer alternative solutions to the problem.
What does the I in the GIVE Skill represent?
Interested
You are travelling with someone on a road trip who has been singing for 15 minutes. it begins to get on your nerves and you politely ask them to stop, but they don't. What skill could you use?
GIVE
Your doctor prescribes a medicine but doesn't tell you what it is for or if there are any side effects. What skill could you use?
DEARMAN
What does the 1st A in DEAR MAN represent?
Assert
What does the F in the FAST skill represent?
Fair
Be fair to yourself and the other person.
What does the V in the GIVE Skill represent?
Validate.
"That sucks!" and "I understand that made you angry" and "It makes sense you would feel that way" are examples of what?
Validation
What skill would you use, when getting someone to do what you want?
DEAR MAN
What does the R in DEAR MAN represent?
Reinforce.
Reward, or reinforce the person ahead of time by explaining the positive effects of getting what you want.
What does the A in the FAST skill represent?
Apologies
Do not over apologize for your behavior, for making a request or for being you.
What does the E in the GIVE skill represent.
Easy Manner
The new shoes you bought three weeks ago are already starting to fall apart. You take them back to the store from where you bought them. Which skill could you use?
DEARMAN
What skill would you be using, if you were trying to maintain your self respect?
FAST SKILLS
What does the M in DEAR MAN represent?
Mindful
Keep your focus on what you want, avoiding distractions.
What does the S in the FAST skill represent?
Stick to Values
Stick to your own values, and opinions.
Do not "sell out" to what what you want, to fit in, or to avoid saying no.
You would use the GIVE Skill, in what situation?
Building and maintaining positive relationships.
Someone in your class asks you to work with them on a task after the teacher has specfically told the class it should be completed individually. What skill could you use?
FAST