Name That Skill
“I can see that this really hurt you.”
Validate
You NEVER listen. Whatever. Forget it.
Assert (done properly) or Gentle
Your friend cancels plans. You say: “Wow. Cool.” (eye roll)
Not Gentle
“I feel frustrated when chores aren’t shared. I need more help.”
Assert
Sorry. Sorry. I’m so annoying. I shouldn’t have asked
FAST (specifically fewer apologies)
You calmly repeat your curfew even after your parent argues.
Mindful + Appear Confident
Calm tone. Steady body. Not shrinking or mumbling.
Appear Confident
Interrupting someone mid-sentence to defend yourself.
Interested (from GIVE) or Mindful?
I get that you’re upset. I still need space right now
Validate + Assert
Saying sorry five times in one sentence when you didn’t actually do anything wrong.
Over-apologizing
Agreeing to something you don’t want to do just to avoid conflict.
Stick to Values or Assert
I can’t tonight, but I could tomorrow after school.
Negotiate
Refusing to lie for a friend because it goes against what matters to you.
Stick to Values
You’re clearly doing this on purpose.
THINK (checking assumptions)
You pause before reacting and ask yourself, “Do I know their intent for sure?
THINK