Effectiveness
Name 2 factors that get in the way of being interpersonally effective.
Pg. 118-119
1. You don't have the skills.
2.You don't know what you want.
3. You forget your long-term goals for short-term.
4. Other people
5. Thoughts and beliefs (believing myths)
True or False: Using DEAR MAN, you can always get what you want.
False: Other people have perspectives and may not agree.
____ means to show we understand another person's perspective, feelings, and thoughts about the situation. It's seeing the world from their point of view.
Validate
A first step to finding friends is to be frequently around and visible- proximity. True or false?
True
Two things that seem like opposites can both be true.
For example: I love and accept myself, but still have a goal to change and improve.
Although acceptance and change are opposite, both can be true simultaniously.
What is this called?
A dialectic
When considering how I want the other person to feel about me after the interaction my priority is using relationship effectiveness. Which acronym will I use for this?
P. 124
What is GIVE?
What does the "D" in DEAR MAN stand for?
p.125
Describe
True or false:
An important lesson in the FAST acronym is to never apologize.
False:
Apologize if you have hurt someone with your words or actions, but the A in FAST- (No) Apologies reminds us to not apologize excessively.
Why should we make friends?
To decrease isolation and loneliness. Friends are essential for happiness.
True or false:
Embracing change is one way to think more dialectically.
True
When considering how I want to feel about myself after the interaction my priority is using self-respect effectiveness. Which acronym will I use for this?
p.124
What is FAST?
What is "turning the tables" in the negotiate part of DEAR MAN?
Turning the problem over to the other person. "What do you think we should do?"
Face the person, make eye contact, don't interrupt. Which letter and name?
(Act) Interested
What percent of the time should someone speak to be considered a "good conversationalist?"
a) 30%
b) 50%
c) 85%
b) 50%
balanced- not too much and not too little.
True or false:
Validation means I agree with the other person.
False:
You validate how the perceive the situation and feel but you may disagree with their view and ask them to stop bad behaviors.
When considering what results or changes I want from the interaction my priority is using objectives effectiveness. Which acronym will I use for this?
p. 124
What is DEAR MAN?
Which letter in DEAR MAN reminds me to ignore attacks and repeat my request (broken record)? What is it called?
M- stay mindful
Name 3 ways to validate
p.129
pay attention, reflect back, "read minds," understand, acknowledge the valid, show equality
True or false:
When considering ending a relationship, you should be in reasonable mind.
False:
Wise mind considers logic and reason. If the decision is made without emotion, the emotions may return later and could cause regrets for the decision.
Name 2 ways to recover from invalidation and begin to self-validate.
Possible answers are on p. 159
Using research based factors for effective communication, what does the dime game help a person decide?
p. 131 and worksheet 6
How intensely/strongly to ask or say no
Name what all letters of DEAR MAN mean.
p. 125-126
D- Describe
E- Express
A- Assert
R- Reinforce
M- (Stay) Mindful
A- Appear confident
N- Negotiate
Name what all letters of GIVE mean.
p.128
G- (Be) Gentle
I- (Act) Interested
V- Validate
E- (use an) Easy manner
A way of practicing what you will say and do prior to ending a relationship is called _______.
Cope ahead
Extinction is the reduction of behavior by removing ongoing reinforcement.
What usually happens before there is a decrease in the behavior?
a "behavior burst" when the behavior increases or becomes worse.