DEAR MAN
What does the N stand for in DEAR MAN
Negotiate
With words and actions show that you understand the other person's feelings and thoughts about the situation.
What is Validate?
This module, interpersonal effectiveness, is to help improve what type of skills.
What are communication skills.
This is important to me; I make decisions with these in mind.
What are your values.
BONUS: what is the "S" of FAST?
Validation is an interpersonal effectiveness skill
Yes
A Script that enables you to be assertive, honest and direct in your communication.
What is DEAR MAN.
The "I" in GIVE.
What is (Act) Interested?
Bonus: describe how you can Act Interested.
What are 3 interpersonal effectiveness skills
DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST
No saying "I'm sorry"; looking ashamed, feeling bad for having an opinion or disagreeing.
What is (no) Apologies?
Bonus: Demonstrate asking for a raise with no apologies.
What are 3 different areas of effectiveness in DBT
Objective, relationship, and self-respect
Tell the person about your Feelings and Opinions about the situation.
What is Express, the "E" of DEAR MAN?
Bonus: Express your feelings about not receiving a return call that your said you were going to receive.
Be nice and respectful; no attacks, no threats, no judging, no sneering.
What is (Be)Gentle?
Guilt tripping is an interpersonal effectiveness skill
False
I don't deserve to get what I want or need.
What is a myth that gets in the way of IE?
BONUS: challenge the myth "I don't deserve to get what I want or need."
How can you practice interpersonal effectiveness?
Open communication, demonstrating trust, progressing in relationships, validating
The "A" of the MAN of DEAR MAN
What is Appear confident?
Bonus: Demonstrate Appearing Confident without using words.
Use a little humor, Smile, Be light-hearted, soft over hard sell.
What is Easy Manner?
Bonus: Demonstrate Easy Manner - you are with your best buddy and you are going to talk to her about the sticking with original departure date for your hiking trip because she had changed the plans and now wants to leave a day later than had been originally planned.
What reduces interpersonal effectiveness?
You don't know what you want
The F. A. S. T. of FAST skill
What is
be Fair,
no Apologies,
Stick to values, and
be Truthful?
When is feedback most effective?
When asked
What does MAN stand for in DEAR MAN
Mindful, Appear Confident, Negotiate
GIVE + DEAR MAN skills are used when this Effectiveness is the top priority.
What is Relationship Effectiveness?
What are 3 Factors to Consider when asking for something or saying no
Capabilities, priorities, self-respect, rights, authority, relationship, long-term versus short-term goals, give and take, homework, timing.
FAST + DEAR MAN skills are used when this Effectiveness is the top priority.
What is Self-Respect Effectiveness?
Bonus: Give an example when you could of or did used the FAST skill.
What are some things to validate?
The valid, the facts, a person's feelings/emotions, suffering and difficulties