FAST
The F in Fast
What is (Be) Fair?
The E in DEARMAN
What is expressing yourself?
Be nice and respectful
What is Be Gentle?
"She thinks I am so dumb"
What is mind reading?
The A in Fast
What is (No) Apologies?
Telling the person exactly what you are reacting to.
What is Describe.
Face the person, maintain eye contact, listen.
What is act Interested
“I did well in that one hockey game because I just got lucky.”
What is discounting the positive?
How the Be Truthful part in FAST would look
What is don't lie, don't act helpless when you are not. Don't exaggerate or make up excuses.
The acronym of DEARMAN
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, appear Confident, Negotiate.
The E in GIVE
What is Easy manner?
You start thinking your emotions are fact.
What is emotional reasoning?
Acronym of FAST
What is, be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to your values, be Truthful
The purpose of DEARMAN
What is to get what you want or to say no
Keeping the Relationship
What is the purpose of GIVE
Anticipating that things will turn out badly, convinced that your prediction is an already established fact.
Catastrophizing
Acting in a way to maintain your self-respect
What is the purpose of FAST
Make good eye contact, no staring at the floor, stammering, retreating.
What is appearing confident
Pay attention, Reflect back, "Read Minds", Understand, Acknowledge the valid, Show Equality
What are levels of Validation
You make a sweeping, negative conclusion that goes far beyond the current situation
What is overgeneralization?