Mindfulness
What is WISEMIND
Name 3 things that can get in the way of being effective?
- your environment reinforces / supports ineffective behaviors
- Having more intense emotions, them lasting longer, or coming and going often is biological: It’s simply how some people are born.
- you were never taught the skills
-other needs are not being met
Reframe this myth in Wise Mind: I shouldn’t be fair, kind, courteous, or respectful if others are not so toward me.
Ex: I can still use skills and feel good about how i handle a situation even when others are not
Finding the kernel of truth in another person's perspective or situation; acknowledging that person's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors have causes and are therefore understandable.
What is VALIDATION
Being aware of the present moment and focusing our attention on the here and now
What is MINDFULNESS
What are the 3 What skills ?
Observe, Describe, Participate
What are the 4 options for solving any problem (name at least 2):
Solve the Problem
Feel Better about the problem
Tolerate the problem
Stay miserable
What are the 3 goals / priorities in interpersonal situations?
Objective
Relationship
Self-respect
What's an example of Reinforcing your request in DEAR MAN?
Ex: "I'll be happy" or "You'll really help me out" or "I'll really appreciate it," or "I think we'd both be less stressed"
DBT stands for.....
What is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
What are the 3 How skills?
Nonjudgmentally, One-Mindfully, Effectively
What is an INEFFECTIVE BEHAVIOR
What are TWO THINGS that impact the level of asking or saying no to something.
priorities, the relationship, self respect, capability, timelessness, homework, authority, rights, long vs. short term goals, and respect.
We use DEAR MAN skills when we...
are making a request of someone else or saying no to a request
DAILY DOUBLE: Balancing opposites while entering the paradox of "yes" and "no," "true" and "not true," at the very same time... two things that are appear or are opposite can be true at the same time
What is dialectics
doing karaoke instead of worrying about what others will think, playing a game even if it feels silly,
DAILY DOUBLE: Explain the assumption "people at any given point in time are doing the best they can"
All emotions, thoughts, and behaviors have a cause, even if we do not know it. Because of this we accept that everyone is doing the best they can at any given moment, and when they or we are ineffective there is a cause.
Reframe: You told me you would go to the movie and then didn't show up. I looked like a loser sitting all alone, you're a terrible friend!
You didn't show up to the movie or tell me you weren't coming. I was really surprised since we are good friends, and felt embarrassed and mad.
What is the purpose of the GIVE skills?
To approach people in a way (even in conflict) that helps us maintain the relationship after the interaction is over
Balancing opposites while entering the paradox of "yes" and "no," "true" and "not true," at the very same time
What is DIALECTICS
The purpose of the judgement bells in DBT are....
To bring awareness into how often we make judgements so that we can consider them and be conscious of them prior to acting or making a decision
Explain: People may not have caused all of our own problems, but they have to solve them anyway
We might not be responsible for the way that we feel, our problems AND we are responsible for getting ourselves out of them, tolerating them at times, and managing our reactions.
After you do the dime game and determine how intensely to ask for something.... what is the last thing you consider?
Your values!
Why is negotiating an important step in DEAR MAN?
What is the difference between being skillful and being manipulative?
Manipulation often involves the other person feeling that they do not have a choice.... skillfulness is about being mindful of our emotions, thoughts, body language, words, and actions so that we are clearly communicating our needs and wants to others in a way that is respecting each persons personal power - even when it does not feel good or we do not get what we want