Emotion Regulation Pt 1
What is the purpose of emotions?
Emotions give us information
Communicates and influences us and others
Motivates and prepares us for action
What does the S stand for in the PLEASE skill?
Balance Sleep: Try to get the amount of sleep that helps you feel rested. Stay on a regular schedule in order to develop good sleep habits.
What is the goal of the GIVE skill?
Keeping the Relationship.
What is the goal of FAST?
Keeping your self-respect
What is the goal of DEARMAN?
Getting someone to do what you want.
Name 5 emotions.
Anger
Sadness
Joy
Guilt
Anxiety
Give an example of opposite action.
Fear/Anxiety: AVOID to APPROACH
• Approach events, places, tasks, activities, people you are afraid of, over and over; confront.
Anger: ATTACK to GENTLY AVOID
• Gently avoid the person you are angry with (rather than attacking).
• Take a time out and breathe in and out deeply and slowly.
• Be kind rather than mean or attacking. (Try to have sympathy or empathy for the other person.)
Sadness: WITHDRAW to GET ACTIVE
• Approach, don’t avoid.
• Increase pleasant activities.
What does the V stand for in GIVE?
Validate: Show that you understand the other person’s feelings or opinions.
Be nonjudgmental out loud.
“I can understand how you feel and . . .”
“I realize this is hard . . .”
“I see you are busy, and . . .”
“That must have felt . . .”
What does the S stand for in FAST?
Stick to values: Stick to your own values and opinions.
Don’t sell out to get what you want, to fit in, or to avoid saying “no.”
What does the A's stand for in DEARMAN?
Assert: Ask for what you want or say “no” clearly. Remember, the other person cannot read your mind. “I would like you to come home by curfew.”
Appear Confident: Make (and maintain) eye contact. Use a confident tone of voice—do not whisper, mumble, or give up and say “Whatever.”
How to build positive experiences in the short term?
• Increase pleasant activities that lead to
positive emotions.
• Do one thing each day from the Pleasant
Activities List.
• Be mindful of positive experiences.
Name 3 Pleasant Activities to improve your mood.
Hangout with friends, watch your favorite show, exercise, or art.
What does the G stand for in the GIVE skill?
(be) Gentle: Be nice and respectful!
Don’t attack, use threats, or cast judgments.
Be aware of your tone of voice.
What does the F stand for in FAST?
(be) Fair: Be fair to yourself and to the other person.
What does the E stand for in DEARMAN?
Express: Express your feelings using “I” statements (“I feel . . . ,” “I would like . . .”). Stay away from “you should . . .”; instead, say, “When you come home late, I feel worried about you.”
How to build positive experiences in the long-term?
Make changes in your life so that positive events will occur more often. Build a life worth living.
Work towards goals based on your values.
Pay attention to your relationships.
Avoid avoiding.
Explain the emotion cycle. (how thoughts and behaviors are connected)
1. Triggering Event
2. Thoughts about that event
3. Emotions about event
4. Body reactions
5. Action
What does the E stand for in GIVE?
(use an) Easy manner: SMILE.
Use humor.
Use nonthreatening body language.
Leave your attitude at the door.
What does the A stand for in FAST?
(no) Apologies: Don’t overapologize for your behavior, for making a request, or for being you.
(If you wronged someone, don’t underapologize.)
What does the R stand for in DEARMAN?
Reinforce: Reward (reinforce) the person ahead of time by explaining the positive effects of getting what you want. “I would be able to trust you more and give you more privileges if you stuck to our curfew agreement.”
What does the E stand for in the PLEASE skill?
Balance Eating: Don’t eat too much or too little. Stay away from foods that may make you overly emotional.
OR
Get Exercise: Do some sort of exercise every day, including walking. Start small and build on it!
What is opposite action?
ACTING OPPOSITE = act opposite to the action urge when the emotion is doing more harm than good
What does the I stand for in GIVE?
(act) Interested: LISTEN and act interested in what the other person is saying.
Don’t interrupt or talk over him or her.
Don’t make faces.
Maintain good eye contact.
What does the T stand for in FAST?
(be) Truthful: Don’t lie.
Don’t act helpless when you are not.
Don’t make up excuses or exaggerate.
What does D, M & N stand for in DEARMAN?
Describe: Describe the situation. Stick to the facts. “The last three weekends, I have noticed you coming home after curfew.”
Mindful: Keep your focus on what you want, avoiding distractions. Come back to your assertion over and over, like a “broken record.” Ignore attacks. “I know the other kids stay out later than you, and I would still like you to do your best to meet your curfew.”
Negotiate: Be willing to GIVE TO GET. Ask for the other person’s input. Offer alternative solutions to the problem. Know when to “agree to disagree” and walk away. “If you can do this for the next 2 weeks, then I will feel comfortable letting you stay out later for the party.”