The Skills pt.1
This is the step in DEAR MAN that involves sticking to the facts without judgment.
What is Describe?
Doing things one at a time, refocusing when getting distracted and staying present in interactions.
What is mindful?
Doing what works.
What is Effective?
Meeting needs or wants.
What is Objective Effectiveness?
Being Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable, and Time Effective.
What is a SMART Goal?
When they were yelling at each other, Gary and Brook had no problems using this skill.
What is Expressing?
Knowing that we deserve or have a right to our needs.
What is Appear Confident?
Describe a direct no. Give an example.
What is say ‘no’ without apologizing?
Maintaining and strengthening current health relationships. Building new positive relationships.
What is Relationship Effectiveness?
Name two ways to self-validate.
What is check all the facts, practice radical acceptance of yourself, self-sooth, etc.?
Letting the other person know specifically what it is that you need directly and clearly.
What is Assert?
Compromising on your needs and the other persons needs to create a win/win situation.
What is Negotiate?
Use a confident voice, make good eye contact, no stammering, whispering, staring at the floor, or retreating. Demonstrate what this would look like.
What is Appear Confident?
Validating our needs and wants and avoiding doing things that would make us feel guilty or bad about our actions.
What is Self Respect Effectiveness?
"If they say no, it will kill me."
"I don't deserve to get what I want or need."
"I must be really inadequate if I can't fix this myself."
What are examples of myths in interpersonal effectiveness?
Some call this skill "bribing".
What is Reinforce?
Component of DEARMAN where you make your intentions clearly known by asking for what you want or by saying no clearly. Give an example.
What is Assert?
If DEARMAN is not working effectively, this is a way to ask the other person how they would get what they want or say no if they were you.
What is turn the tables?
The three goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness.
What are "Objective Effectiveness - getting what you want/need", "Relationship Effectiveness - keeping/building relationships", & "Self-Respect Effectiveness - maintaining respect for self"?
A skill in conversations where we are not necessarily agreeing with the other person, but we are acknowledging how their response makes sense in some way.
What is Validation?
These are the 7 skills that make up DEAR MAN.
What is Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear Confident, and Negotiate?
Component of DEARMAN where you let others know the positive benefits, or clarify the negative consequences of not getting what you want or need. Give an example.
What is Reinforce?
These are the two different ways we can stay mindful when asking for something or saying no.
What are broken record and ignore attacks?
Finding new healthy relationships, strengthening existing healthy relationships, ending destructive relationships, and getting our needs and wants met.
What is Interpersonal Effectiveness?
Explain how to reinforce a behavior.
What is add positive consequences or remove averse consequences?