Withdrawal & Avoidance
This term describes when a partner pulls away emotionally or physically during a conflict.
What is withdrawal?
This occurs when one partner dismisses or belittles the other's feelings, thoughts, or concerns.
What is invalidation?
Negative interpretations are often a form of this behavior, where one assumes they know their partner’s thoughts or intentions.
What is mind reading?
This is the key emotion that tends to rise quickly during escalation, often causing irrational decisions.
What is frustration?
The fastest way to end a relationship, whether romantic or platonic, is through this process.
What is escalation?
Unlike withdrawal, this pattern occurs before conflict begins, as one partner tries to prevent difficult conversations altogether.
What is avoidance?
Telling your partner they are "overreacting" when they express stress is an example of this harmful behavior.
What is invalidation?
This cognitive bias makes negative interpretations hard to change because people tend to look for evidence that supports their existing beliefs.
What is confirmation bias?
This term describes the rapid increase in intensity and seriousness of a situation, often leading to more conflict.
What is escalation?
Chris expresses feeling lonely in the relationship, and their partner rolls their eyes and sarcastically says, “Oh sure, because I’m just the worst partner ever.”
What is sarcasm (a form of invalidation)?
Rather than using withdrawal or avoidance, partners should use this type of statement to express feelings without blaming.
What is an "I" statement?
This form of invalidation involves using harsh words or mocking tones to undermine a partner's feelings.
What is criticism or sarcasm?
This occurs when a partner assumes their significant other's motives are more negative than they actually are.
What is negative interpretation?
This simple change in communication, like a raised voice or crossed arms, can signal the start of escalation.
What is body language?
A partner who keeps themselves constantly occupied with work or hobbies to avoid discussing relationship concerns is demonstrating this behavior.
What is avoidance?
When a partner acts uninterested, disengaged, or distant in a conversation, they are demonstrating this form of withdrawal.
What is emotional distancing/detachment?
One of the major consequences of repeated invalidation is the erosion of this essential relationship component, making partners feel unsafe sharing their emotions.
What is trust?
One major challenge with negative interpretations is that they become deeply embedded in relationships, much like this persistent type of plant.
What are weeds?
Escalation can be avoided by remembering that you and your partner should be working together against this.
What is the problem?
Name one major emotional consequence when a partner frequently withdraws or avoids conflict.
What is emotional distance, frustration, or resentment?
A way to encourage open communication and prevent withdrawal is using this structured communication method that ensures both partners feel heard.
What is the Speaker-Listener Technique?
To counteract invalidation, couples should practice this skill, which involves acknowledging and accepting a partner’s emotions without judgment.
What is validation?
A key step in overcoming negative interpretations is actively looking for this, which contradicts the usual negative assumptions.
What is contrary evidence?
Escalation can be especially hard to stop because it involves these two traits in both partners, making it difficult to remain objective.
What is pride or stubbornness?
Chris surprises their partner with flowers, but instead of feeling happy, their partner thinks, “They must have done something wrong.”
What is assuming bad intentions (a negative interpretation)?