NBA Players by
Draft Position & Quote
Draft Position & Quote
Selected 3rd overall in 1984
"The ceiling is the roof"
Michael Jordan
A hairy glabella
What is a unibrow
One part Robert Louis Stevenson, one part Jim Henson, and one part that alludes to Tim Curry fucking a pig
Muppet Treasure Island
Koko is a creature of this species who was thought to have been taught sign language. In reality, she just learned a few specific symbol-word associations and then her trainer went bananas on the "interpretation"
Gorilla
The dinos in Jurassic Park were cloned from dna found inside a mesquito fossilized in this substance
What is amber
Basin dwelling water animals are looking for the girls that Queen says make the rocking world go round
Fat Bottom Feeders
Selected 1st overall in 2003
"Because I don't want anybody to know my identity. I'm like a superhero. Call me Basketballman"
Lebron James
A ferrule is a small metal fastener on one of these
What is a pencil
Grace has always been really passionate about this orphan filled show, personally I prefer Christian Bale's later work
Newsies
These friendly mammals have much more developed brow muscles than their wild ancestors because us humans find those muscles endearing
Dogs
DAILY DOUBLE
You can often distinguish a fossil from an regular rock by doing this test, if it sticks it's probably a fossil
A porous and fictional sea creature whose fibs are easily detected by his flaming slacks
Spongebob Squarepants on Fire
Selected 2nd overall in 2007
"Scarlett Johansen, I will drink your bath water...#random"
Kevin Durant
Almost everyone can find their dactylion at the tip of these (you have two)
What is the middle finger
This was the first professional play I ever saw as a kid and I left the theatre believing individual human flight was 100% real but too expensive to mass produce
Wicked
Despite the heavy rainfall, the Amazon rainforest has native cacti that reside here
In the canopy
This organism has led to the death an estimated half of all humans to ever live
Mosquitos
Wow that shark looks almost as weird as this tip of Lebron's hometown penis
Akron Hammer Head
Selected 1st overall in 1992
"I'm tired of hearing about money money money money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, and wear Reebok"
Shaq
DAILY DOUBLE
A tittle is the dot found here
I used to rewind the Borrowers VHS so I could listen to Elaine Page sing the chorus to Memory while dressed up like this title creature
Cat(s)
These African mammals get struck by lightning more than any other creature in the animal kingdom
Giraffes
Both dinosaurs and their bird descendants exhibit this post-mortem position during rigor mortis
What is a death pose
Biggie says that mo money causes this when you spend it on a Sesame Street character in laughing toy form
Tickle Me Elmo Problems
Selected 27th overall in 1986
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school, or college, where you learn 2 plus 2 is 10, or something"
Dennis Rodman
The peen of this tool is used to undo what the other end just did
What is a hammer
As a child, I QUITE enjoyed watching Keke Palmer and Corbin Bleu practice their crafts in this Disney channel original movie
Jump In!
Experiments using subsurface vibrations have confirmed that these animals have distinct names and if you call one by its name only that individual will come to you
Elephants
The oldest mammal in the fossil record is this subterranean creature that sounds Shakespearean
What is a shrew
This is when I exert myself enough to perspire back to front, usually while listening to a Megan & Cardi hit about their "medical condition"
Break a Sweat Ass Pussy