Dad Jokes Deluxe
This vegetable always gets invited to parties because it’s a “big dill.”
What is a pickle?
Clue: “Fishy Gets Lost, Then Found Again.”
What is Finding Nemo?
Clue: It’s just fizzy water, but say it in French and suddenly it’s a party.
What is sparkling water?
Clue: He battles grime with lemon power and the fresh scent of justice.
Who is Mr. Clean?
Clue: “The Day You Pretend to Like Fruitcake and Socks.”
What is Christmas?
He stayed away from the calendar because its days were numbered.
Who is afraid of the calendar?
Clue: “Big Green Angry Man Who Needs a Nap.”
What is The Hulk?
Clue: This “charcuterie board” is basically just lunchables for grown-ups.
What is a meat and cheese tray?
Clue: This masked marvel slides under furniture and dusts while nobody’s looking.
What is a Swiffer?
Clue: “24 Hours of Asking If the Turkey Is Done Yet.”
What is Thanksgiving?
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know...
What is "y"?
Clue: “Ice Queen Sings Too Much.”
What is Frozen?
Clue: This “bespoke sleep surface” is also known as an inflatable guest bed.
What is an air mattress?
Clue: She can hold the line, scrub the floor, and still sparkle under pressure.
What is a steel wool pad?
Clue: “The One Night a Year You Knock on Strangers’ Doors and Demand Snacks.”
What is Halloween?
He quit his job at the orange juice factory because he couldn’t handle this kind of pressure.
What is being constantly squeezed?
Clue: “Scary Daddy with a Mask and Breathing Problem.”
What is Star Wars (Darth Vader)?
Clue: This dessert with a fancy swirl is still just frozen yogurt in a tuxedo.
What is soft serve?
Clue: This caped cleaner is known for unclogging evil one pipe at a time.
What is a plunger?
Clue: “Romantic Dinner Reservations and Slightly Overpriced Chocolate.”
What is Valentine’s Day?
When the pencil broke, it had to do this to get back on point.
What is sharpen up?
Clue: “Fast Car Guys Go Zoom Zoom Boom.”
What is Fast & Furious?
Clue: “Artisanal toast” is this everyday breakfast item that costs $9 if you add avocado.
What is toast?
Clue: Not a bird, not a plane—just this oddly powerful vacuum cleaner with no cords and no mercy.
What is a Dyson?
Clue: “The Day Everyone Suddenly Cares About Ground-Dwelling Rodents.”
What is Groundhog Day?