Red Flag Recognition
What do you call someone who only texts you after 11 p.m.?
A Booty Call
The message that actually means “please give me attention immediately.”
"WYD"
The signal that your phone is about to spiritually detach from your existence.
1% battery
The universal classroom smell that every student remembers.
Crayons and chaos
The academic major you pick when you’re convinced someone who left you on delivered for 9 hours is “just shy.”
Delusional Behavioral Studies
When they keep their phone face down the entire time you’re with them, they’re doing this.
Hiding their roster
This one-word response indicates absolutely no laughter, joy, or interest.
"LOL"
The forbidden app you open when you “just need a 5-minute break.”
TikTok (4-hour edition)
The phrase every kid said before doing something dangerous.
“Watch this”
The official school motto, recited before every class starts.
“If I believe it hard enough, it’s basically true.”
This term describes when they disappear for 3 days and return like nothing had happened.
What is ghosting and returning from the dead?
Leaving you on delivered for hours then texting “my bad” means they were doing this.
Doom-scrolling TikTok for six hours straight
Sending someone a TikTok with “this is so you” means this.
“I’m silently roasting you but lovingly”
The thing every teacher threatened but never actually did.
Calling your parents right now
The official school anthem is sung whenever students get ignored.
“It’s Fine, I’m Fine, Everything’s Fine”
What do you call someone who says, “I’m bad at texting,” but posts 27 stories a day?
a pathological liar
If someone sends “nah that’s wild” instead of engaging in the convo, it's categorized as this.
The Fake Empathy Response
When your phone starts typing by itself, it’s performing this digital ritual.
Phantom Keyboard Possession
The phrase every teacher said right before losing all hope.
“I’ll wait.”
The university dining hall is famous for serving this delusional delicacy.
Breadcrumbs and False Hope Bowls
They post quotes like “loyalty is rare” while cheating every Tuesday.
motivational hypocrisy?
If someone texts “it’s whatever,” historians confirm this translation.
It is absolutely not whatever
Your phone says “Storage Almost Full.” What is taking up 98% of the space?
4,291 blurry screenshots of memes you’ll never look at again.
The moment you knew school was about to go feral.
When the teacher rolled in the TV cart
The degree you earn after realizing every situation you imagined was entirely in your head.
A Master’s in Self-Gaslighting