DBT
What is the WISE mind? Draw it on the board
It is the balance between rational and emotional mind
Give two examples of setting a boundary.
Ex: "I need some time to cool off so I can discuss this with you in a constructive way. Can we continue this in 20 minutes?"
Ex: Saying "No" when someone asks you to do something you aren't comfortable with.
Give an example of when you reframed a thought this week.
Ex: "I shouldn't feel this way, I should have gotten over this already"
Reframe: "I am feeling disappointed in myself, and that's okay. What can I learn from this?"
What is a SMART goal?
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Time-bound
True or False: Body language communicates more than words
TRUE
Body language tells a person more than the actual words you use. Tone and approach, posture, eye contact (or lack of), hand and facial expressions are all examples of this.
Name 3 self-soothing techniques
5-4-3-2-1 method, BE THIS, Breathing exercises, affirmations, ACCEPTS, IMPROVE, Pros and Cons, etc.
What does active listening look like?
Eye contact, summarizing, facing towards the person, saying "mm hmm" to show the other person you are listening, validating, etc.
What is a core belief? Give an example.
Example: "I am worthless" "The world is cruel"
Anger is a secondary emotion, what are the primary emotions that is stems from?
Disgust, embarrassment, hurt, fear, anxiety
What is ineffective communication look like?
Interrupting
Looking away from the person
Standing far away from them (i.e. in different rooms)
Being unresponsive
Forceful tone
Accusations
Talking at someone instead of with someone
Explain opposite action. Give an example.
Acting opposite to the behavior/urge is telling you to. You identify what you are feeling, the behavior you want to engage in, and do the opposite.
Ex: I feel sad so I want to self isolate.
You ask a friend if they want to hang out.
What is the FAST skill?
F - Fair (not only to them, but to yourself)
A - Apologies (don't unjustifiably apologize or overly apologize)
S - Stick to values (don't compromise/abandon your values to please or conform to someone else's)
T - Truthful (don't lie, exaggerate, use absolutes, make excuses, act helpless, or manipulate others)
What is self-care? What does it look like?
Self-care is taking care of your body and mind.
Examples: Hygiene, Sleep, Exercise, Meditating, Going to Tx, Healthy Diet, Rest, Leisure, Relaxation
What is the STOP skill? When do you use it?
A skill to use when you are feeling intense emotions/urges
S- Stop (what you are doing)
T- Take a step back (remove from the environment/situation)
O- Observe (how you feel)
P- Proceed with caution
Explain the four types of communication
Passive - Avoidant of conflict and advocacy
Aggressive - Hostile, uses harsh language/body language, yelling, etc.
Passive-Aggressive - Not bringing things up directly, sarcasm, double-meanings, etc.
Assertive - Expressing feelings in a direct and respectful way
When do you use the RAIN method? What does it stand for?
A method of sitting with emotions
R - Recognize (your present emotions and surroundings)
A - Allow (it to be)
I - Investigate (thoughts, feelings, etc.)
N - Nurture (yourself)
What is the difference between dependency and co-dependency?
Dependency - You depend on someone to be there for you when you need support, you depend on them for chores/responsibilities, etc.
Co-dependency - You rely on someone for emotional stability, satisfaction, self-esteem, validation. If they are upset, you are upset
The difference is depend and rely: when someone is co-dependent, they expect the other person to fulfill their need for validation and stability. Your emotional state is dependent on another person's actions.
"If the relationship isn't okay or they aren't okay, I'm not okay"
BONUS - Everyone say an affirmation about themselves!!
Everyone gets points :)
What are the four horsemen of a failing relationship (platonic or otherwise)?
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling
What are some barriers to communication?
Busyness, stress
Hunger
Past experiences
Emotional state, overall wellbeing
Anticipating others, believing we already know what the other person is going to say
Assuming the meaning of what someone else is saying without checking with them first
Immediate effort to implement change towards another’s situation without first simply validating their feelings
When do you use ACCEPTS? What does it stand for?
When you are feeling negative emotions
A - Activities
C- Contributing
C - Comparisons
E - Emotions
P - Pushing Away
T - Thoughts
S - Sensations
Name the four types of attachment and what they are.
Secure - comfortable being independent and trusting (with trustworthy people), can set clear boundaries while prioritizing the relationship, capable of accepting rejection
Anxious - needing reassurance, need to be loving and close to their partners/friends, have trouble being alone/single, trouble trusting others, susceptible to co-dependency
Avoidant - extremely independent, uncomfortable with intimacy, always have an exit strategy, avoid conflict, emotionally distant
Anxious-avoidant - afraid of intimacy and commitment, difficulty trusting others, etc.
Why is reframing our self-talk so important?
Our self talk dictates how we think about ourselves, our beliefs, our confident, our competence, and our value to the world.
Give two examples of an incorrect "I statement"
"I feel angry when you are always late"
"I feel sad when you are an jerk"
- No judgements/accusations
- Be objective
- No absolutes
What is DEARMAN? What does it stand for? When do you use it?
DEARMAN is a method of interpersonal effectiveness to request something from someone or to say no in a direct way.
D - Describe (the situation)
E - Express (it makes you feel)
A - Assert (what you want)
R - Reinforce (the relationship ex: "You mean a lot to me", "I want to stay in this company for some time", "I love you", etc.)
M - Mindful (stay on topic!!)
A - Appear Confident (eye contact, facing towards them, make yourself heard)
N - Negotiate (if applicable, what can they get out of it?)