Elemental jokes
It's okay, oxidants happen...
If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they'd be alloys
I slapped my neon that one!
300

Why should you be like a proton?

So you will always be positive.

300

Are these jokes too basic? Because I see no reaction.

Looks like the angry chemical overreacted though.

300

Why did the attacking army use acid?

To neutralize the enemy's base!

300

Two chemists walked to a chemical store. One said "I want H2O!" and the second one said "I wand H2O too!" The second chemist died.

H2O too... H2O2... Hydrogen peroxide... get it?

300

Lost an electron?

Gotta keep an ion it.

300

What is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed!

300

Helium walks into a restaurant. The waiter says, "We don't serve noble gasses here." Helium doesn't react.

Get it? React?

300

My chemistry experiment exploded!

It's okay, oxidants happen...

300

Want to hear a joke about oxygen and potassium?

OK!

300

What happens if you aren't part of the solution?

Simple! You're part of the precipitate!
300

What's a chemistry teacher's favorite thing to teach?

Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.

300

What do you call a funny chemist in jail?

A silicon!

300

What should you say if someone asks you about Sodium?

Na...

300

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o Acid

300

What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms?

A ferrous wheel!

300

Want to hear a joke about nitric oxide?

NO!

300

Why should you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

300

What should you do to a dead chemist?

Barium!

300

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

300

A neutron walked into a store and asked the store owner how much a drink cost.

The store owner said, "For you, no charge."