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What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
What does a pepper do when it’s angry?
It gets jalapeño face!
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
How does energy from the sun travel to the earth?
Radiation
A bear walks into a restaurant and say’s “I want a grilllllled………………………………………cheese.” The waiter says “Whats with the pause?”
The bear replies “Whaddya mean, I’M A BEAR.”
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.
Clooney says, "I'll direct."
DiCaprio says, "I'll act."
McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
If you go to the Emergency Room with roasted feet because they were cold, and you were impatient, and you just HAD to get them as hot as possible, as fast as possible, so you put them in the fire, what form of heat transfer roasted your feet?
Conduction
What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can't jump.
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "Hey."
The horse replies, "Sure."
If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Really, really big hands.
How will the weight of a closed system change over time?
Stay the same