🧠WHY WE FEEL
True or False: The goal of Emotion Regulation is to stop yourself from having negative emotions.
False. The goal is to understand and manage emotions effectively, not eliminate them.
What is an action urge?
Something an emotion makes you feel like doing.
What does Opposite Action help you do?
Choose an effective action instead of automatically following an emotional urge when the emotion/urge doesn’t fit the facts or isn’t effective.
In Urge Surfing, an urge is compared to what?
A wave. 🌊
What does stuffing an emotion mean?
Ignoring, suppressing, denying, or pushing the emotion away instead of acknowledging it.
Name ONE job that emotions can have.
Communicate information, motivate action, alert us to possible danger/problems, help us connect with others, or show us what matters.
You're angry and immediately want to yell at someone. What is the emotion, and what is the action urge?
Emotion = anger; action urge = yelling/confronting.
You're nervous about participating in group even though you're safe. Your urge is to avoid participating. Give an Opposite Action.
Participate, speak up, or approach instead of avoiding.
Complete the sentence: “I can experience an urge without ________.”
Acting on it.
What does sticking to an emotion mean?
Holding onto/feeding the emotion, repeatedly replaying it, or ruminating instead of allowing it to move through.
Complete the sentence: An emotion gives us ________, but it is not always a fact.
Information.
What important phrase should you remember when you experience a strong urge?
An urge is not a command.
You're sad and have been isolating yourself all weekend, which is making you feel worse. What could an Opposite Action be?
Get active, leave the room/house, participate in something, or connect with a supportive person.
What usually happens to a wave—and potentially an urge—over time?
It rises, peaks, and eventually decreases/changes.
: Someone upset you three days ago. You've talked about it repeatedly, keep replaying the argument, check their page, and make yourself angry again every time you think about it. Is this stuffing, sticking, or treating the emotion like a guest?
Sticking.
Your friend doesn't respond to your text. You immediately FEEL rejected. Does feeling rejected automatically mean your friend is purposely ignoring you? Explain.
No. The feeling is real, but it doesn't prove what happened. There could be other explanations.
You're embarrassed after answering a question incorrectly in class and want to stop participating for the rest of the day. Identify the emotion AND action urge.
Embarrassment; hiding/withdrawing/avoiding participation.
True or False: Opposite Action means you should ALWAYS do the opposite of what your emotions tell you.
False.
You're furious and have typed a disrespectful text but haven't sent it. Give TWO things you could do to “surf” the urge instead of sending it immediately.
Answers vary: notice/name the urge, pause, breathe, observe body sensations, put the phone down, use STOP/TIPP, wait, etc.
Explain what it means to “treat your emotion like a guest.
Allow yourself to notice and experience the emotion, understand why it's there and what it may be communicating, respond effectively, and allow it to leave rather than suppressing or continuously feeding it.
Why is experiencing emotions an important part of being human instead of something we should try to completely get rid of?
Emotions help us respond to our environment, communicate, connect, recognize needs/problems, understand what matters to us, and motivate behavior.
Explain the difference between having an emotion, having an urge, and choosing a behavior.
An emotion is what you feel; an urge is what the emotion makes you want to do; the behavior is the action you actually choose.
You're afraid because someone is actually threatening your safety. Should you automatically use Opposite Action and approach them? Why or why not?
No. The fear may fit the facts and be signaling actual danger; prioritize safety.
Why can saying “I'm having the urge to text them” be more helpful than saying “I HAVE to text them”?
It separates the urge from the action and reminds you that you still have a choice.
“Your emotions can visit, but they don't have to move in.”
We should allow ourselves to experience and understand emotions without holding onto, feeding, or letting them control us indefinitely.