Self-Awareness
Your child talks back to you about cleaning up after themselves. Anger spikes. What are your next steps?
Take a deep breath. Recognize anger and emotions. Recognize the possibility of making an impulsive decision. Take a step back before discussing with your child their behavior, their responsibilities, and a relevant consequence if needed.
Your child refuses to eat a dinner that you made. You feel worried about their hunger, but also frustrated that they are refusing a dinner that they like.
Take a deep breath and a moment to yourself, and reflect onto possible reasons as to why your child won't eat dinner. Have a discussion with your child as to why they refuse to eat dinner.
Your child says something hurtful to you. How do you respond?
Explain how it hurts your feelings when they say things like that, and ask them if they'd like it if you said that to them.
Provide an example of how gratitude can be used as motivation in emotional intelligence.
- Focus on what you are grateful for every day.
- Engage in positive self-talk.
- Reflect on improvements that have been made on things in your life.
Examples:
- Active listening, to give your full attention and to ensure you understand.
- Nonverbal communication, making eye contact and smiling to appear attentive and friendly.
- Clarity and conciseness, to help others understand your thoughts in a way that is easily digestible.
You grew up in an emotionally unavailable household. As a result, you feel uncomfortable when your child expresses their feelings. What are your next steps?
Recognize a difference in upbringings and environments. Children may not have much control over their emotions or how they express them. Focus on the way that you respond to your child's emotions, and possibly provide a positive outlet for negative emotions.
Your child throws a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store because you won't buy them a candy bar, and you feel like everyone is looking at you and judging you. What next?
Remind yourself that the people that see you likely are to understand your situation, are not paying attention to you, or are never going to see you again. Take a deep breath and ground yourself, focusing on your responsibilities rather than the tantrum. If it gets too overwhelming, leave.
Your child is refusing to share a toy with another child. How do you respond?
Educate your child about sharing, the benefits of sharing, and how it would feel if no one shared their toys with them.
Provide an example of how setting clear and achievable goals can be used as motivation in emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Setting a goal to spend time with someone close to you once a week.
- Setting a goal to reach out to someone close to you once a day.
- Setting a goal to compliment others when you're feeling down.
Provide an example of how conflict resolution is a people skill in emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Communicating to find a solution that works for everyone.
- Resolving disputes in a respectful manner to prevent tension.
- Acknowledging different perspectives, experiences, and beliefs.
While your child was trying to get your attention, you yelled at them in a moment of stress and being overwhelmed. What is your next step?
Apologize for your reaction. Recognize when you need to take a step away. Explain how you are feeling and find a way to correct your mistake.
You're home after a long day of work, and your child is refusing to clean their messy room. What are your next steps?
Step away and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that not every issue has to be dealt with immediately. Take time to yourself before making a decision.
Your teenager is upset over their first relationship ending. You think they are being dramatic.
Reflect on your own experiences as a teenager, and how you processed breakups when you were younger. Remind yourself that your teenager's feelings are valid, and show support to your child.
Provide an example of how being flexible and adaptable can be a motivator in emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Being flexible and adaptable when things go wrong.
- Being flexible and adaptable when trying to meet someone's needs.
- Being flexible and adaptable when plans need to be changed.
Provide an example of how patience is a people skill in emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Understanding barriers and hurdles that people face.
- Pausing to understand your own emotions and regulate them.
- Making less impulsive decisions with positive outcomes.
Your teenager tells you that they want to extend their curfew. You immediately shut down the discussion and won't tolerate any further conversation. What next?
Reflect on why you won't discuss and what triggered you when the discussion was prompted. Explain to your teenager your decision. Try to come up with a compromise.
You're helping your child with their homework that they are struggling with. After 30 minutes of trying to work on it, they begin to cry and you begin to get frustrated. What now?
Both you and your child take a small break to calm down and regain focus. Approach the homework in different ways that make sense or are able to be understood.
Your child is scared of going to the doctor for their annual check up. How do you respond?
Talk to your child about why they are afraid of going to the doctor. Explain to your child the importance of being in good health and the benefits of getting check ups. Possibly offer a positive consequence for going to the appointment (ex. no school, candy, etc.)
Provide an example of how creating a positive environment can be a motivator in emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Reading an inspiring book to share with others.
- Watching an inspiring documentary to share with others.
- Surrounding yourself with positive people to support your mental health.
Provide an example of how collaboration is a people skill in emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Working together to reach a common goal or idea.
- Using each other's thoughts and ideas to make progress and improve.
- Respecting everyone's opinion and perspective and understand how each person can contribute.
You enroll your child in multiple extracurriculars and they express their dislike for them. Hearing your child suddenly express a distaste for the activities after spending your money on them makes you frustrated. What now?
Reflect on why it's important for your child to engage in extracurriculars. Have a discussion with your child about why they don't like them, and decide if they should continue, or focus on 1-2 activities that they enjoy or are interested in.
You get a call from school that your child has been involved in an altercation with another student. How do you react?
Before making any assumptions, ask questions. Get both sides of the story. If overwhelmed, take a deep breath before making any further decisions. If needed to give out a consequence, ensure that it is not excessive.
Your child makes a mess in the kitchen while making lunch for themselves. However, you just deep cleaned the kitchen yesterday. How do you respond?
Recognize the effort that your child put into making lunch for themselves, but teach them the importance of cleaning up after themselves and asking for help if needed.
Provide an example of how celebrating small wins can be a motivator for emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Celebrating small improvements, with hope for bigger improvements
- Trying out new things, and gaining confidence
- Spreading positive energy by focusing on the good
Provide an example of how assertiveness is a people skill in emotional intelligence.
Examples:
- Communicating your opinion in a respectful but firm way.
- Setting boundaries to preserve relationships and mental health.
- Advocates for your wellbeing while understanding others' viewpoints.