The Tools
What is the "ladder of integrity"?
The opposite of clean fighting
What is "dirty fighting"?
Jesus said one must be able to carry this to be his disciple, symbolizing the hard work involved in discipleship.
What is "a cross?"
What is "Emotional Infant?"
Each week we mind ourselves to turn to this instead of trying to "fix, save or give advice"
What is "turn to wonder?"
These can cover over positive feelings and keep us from feeling joy, hope, or love if they go unprocessed.
What are "unprocessed difficult emotions?"
Since I don't really want to deepen my relationship, I am never going to use this that will help me share appreciations, puzzles I am working on and my wishes hopes and dreams.
What is a "Community Temperature Reading"?
Paul understood that if he could do all kinds of spiritual wonders but was missing this, he was missing the main point (1 Corinthians 13)
What is "love"?
You are an emotional _________ when you respect and love others without having to change them or becoming judgemental.
What is "emotional adult"?
A prayer activity where one repeats a phrase over and over, timing that phrase with one's inhaling and exhaling.
What is a "Breath Prayer"?
What is a "genogram?"
If we don't want healthy relationships we should never explore our own emotional ________________ because we will see that there is more going on underneath our own surface than we were once aware of.
What is "emotional iceberg?"
What is a "lament"?
An emotional child might engage in complaining, withdrawing, manipulating, or becoming sarcastic when he or she does not get their way. These are all examples of this kind of conflict style.
What is "Dirty Fighting?"
The writer of the Emotionally Healthy Relationships Curriculum who is also a pastor at a church in New York City.
Who is Peter Scazzero?
What is, they are "conscious, realistic, spoken and agreed upon"? (answer only needs to contain two of these).
Peter pulled back from eating with gentiles because let this emotion drive him as he felt peer pressure.
What is "fear"? (he was afraid)
An emotional adolescent often has trouble really listening to someone else's pain without making the conversation about themselves, they would benefit from this kind of listening which puts God "in the flesh."
What is "incarnational listening?"
The stage BETWEEN Unconscious incompetence and conscious competence.
What is "Conscious Incompetence"?
One of the four questions that can help us explore our own iceberg.
What are you angry about?
What are you sad about?
What are you anxious about? or
What are you glad about?
Three characteristics of dirty fighting (I might use if I love terrible and dysfunctional relationships that drain my energy).
Whare are (name three of these) silent treatment, lecturing, blaming/attacking, condescension, threatening gestures, physical violence, name calling, criticism, sarcasm, using "always" and "never," Anger/rage, passive-aggressive behavior, or denying"?
What is being "differentiated?"
What is "Unconscious Competence"?