This is one of the three main priorities in Interpersonal Effectiveness and is used when acting in way consistent with your values is most important
What is Self-Respect?
100
This involves examining 10 different factors to determine the style of asking or saying no.
What is evaluating intensity (or intensity scale)?
100
This is the acronym for the set of skills used when your relationship with the person is more important than your self-respect or even than getting what you want.
What is "GIVE?"
100
This is the most basic factor that gets in the way of interpersonal effectiveness and is what we teach in group!
What is (lack of) Interpersonal Skills?
100
This is the acronym used to remember the skills when your objective is the most important goal in the interaction.
What is DEAR MAN?
200
This is the acronym that Linehan uses to describe the Self-Respect Skills
What is FAST?
200
This is the lowest level of asking, a "1" on the scale.
What is "Don't Ask; don't hint."
200
This Relationship skill involves facing the person, maintaining eye contact and not interrupting.
What is (acting) Interested?
200
These get in the way A LOT but the TIP skills, self-soothing and mindfulness of emotion can help when they do.
What are emotions?
200
This involves just stating the facts, as part of an effective way to ask for something or say "no."
What is DESCRIBE?
300
This involves treating yourself AND the other person in a just manner
What is FAIR
300
Even thought the scale is very mathematical, this is an adjustment you can make to take additional intuitive factors into consideration.
What is Wise Mind Adjustment?
300
This relationship skill involves a number of things to avoid including "no attacks" and "no threats."
What is (being) Gentle?
300
This is what might be getting in the way when you have to accept that can't always get what you want.
What is the environment?
300
The two subskills in this skill are "Broken Record" and "Ignore Attacks."
What is (staying) Mindful?
400
This is the skill of being honest instead of lying when we want to avoid a conflict.
What is TRUTHFUL?
400
This factor involves knowing that in some situations, your immediate goal may get in the way of doing what is needed in the long run
What is "Long-term vs. Short-Term Goals"
400
This Relationship skill involves staying calm and using a "soft sell" rather than a "hard sell."
What is Easy Manner?
400
An example of this getting in the way is when you really need to say "no," from a wise mind perspective but then you just can't manage conflict so you say "yes" instead
What is short-term goals getting in the way of long-term goals?
400
Many times people are afraid to do this specific thing which involves asking directly for what you want or saying no clearly. Part of the justification for doing this is to remember that other people cannot read your mind!
What is Assert?
500
This is the skill of avoiding doing this again and again when self-respect is the goal, even if you feel guilty. Some people have a habit of doing this even when they have done nothing wrong.
What is (no) Apologies?
500
This factor evaluates how reciprocal your relationship is.
What is "Give and Take"
500
An example of this is when you are able to step into the other person's shoes and see the world through their eyes.
What is Validation?
500
This is Sue's favorite Worksheet because it includes many pointers for what to do when you get stuck in Interpersonal situations.
What is Worksheet #7 :)
500
Turning the Tables is part of this very effective skill although this can be hard to do when you are in Emotion Mind!