Dad Jokes
When is a dad joke considered a dad joke?
When it's apparent
When another person confronts you in the kitchen, they get this.
All up in your grill.
Someone took my German Christmas bread, filled with nuts, fruit, and made of marzipan. When the police asked me to describe the bread, I told them it was this.
Stollen
What Marky Mark called his band when actress Soleil Moon Frye joined.
Most likely to criticize Mr. M's outfit
Lillian
Before my student, surname Carter, Jr, hit it big as a rapper, he worked as a meteorologist and always predicted this.
A Lil Wayne
How most people describe my bread puns.
Pitaful
What do you call a fake dad joke?
A faux pa
I knew it was wrong to steal a metal utensil used to beat eggs, but...
It was a whisk I was willing to take.
I inherited Sara Lee's dog. It was this.
Purebread
When Fountains of Wayne's friend from track 3 of their album Interstate Managers made a caramel-based dessert with origins in Spain, they said they're in love with this.
Stacy's Flan
Most likely to yell at Mr. M over a tardy.
Devya
Before they cast John Travolta for the lead role of Danny Zuko in a 1978 film, my former student and future Footloose star was considered for the role, as the original title was this.
Bacon Grease
Why don't you need an accent mark over the second "a" in papas fritas?
Because you're not frying your fathers.
What I called it when I moved my hand bank and forth in a small motion to greet someone who just entered the kitchen.
My jokes about pumpernickel showcase this type of sense of humor.
A rye one.
While Josh Ritter was rushing back from the store in late 2012, he accidentally spilled a bunch of single-celled fungus he had just bought, on a mode of transportation for trains, which inspired this title of his 2013 album.
The Yeast in its Tracks
Most likely to shush people during an intruder drill.
Jayden
After my former student, Wouter André De Backer correctly translated the word "cabra" and nailed the pronunciation of the "ie" diphthong, I started calling him this.
Goat-IE.
What you call it in Spanish when you go to see your dad. (You'll need to know the Spanish word for "to see")
Verdad
My kitchen is filled with paintings of blenders, coffeemakers, air fryers, ice cream makers, and waffle makers. I call it this.
Cuisin-art
My students gave me the okay to make puns about a certain type of Indian bread. They said it was a this.
Naan issue.
I saw the band Phish live just for this.
The halibut
Most likely to complain to the manager, then run off with the manager in a restaurant skit.
Chloe
When my former student and future "What's Love Got to Do With It?" singer got an endorsement deal with Starkist, I started calling her this.
Tuna Turner
Jokes about German dads make good (you'll need to know the German word for dad)
Fater
Why is my oven the smartest appliance in the kitchen?
It has lots of degrees!
Maroon 5's first single from their second album was about stuffing yourself with bread from a company that used to have a factory in Memphis at the end of a relationship. The song was called this.
Makes Me Wonder
I'm going to make a movie about the band once consisting of Danny O'Donahue, Mark Sheehan, and Glen Power, I just have to do this.
Write The Script.
Most likely to make Curious George rob a bank, then become CEO of that bank.
Marquela
What I called my former student and future "Go Through Your Phone" singer when he reorganized my room, categorizing everything in there.
PJ Sortin'