Exam 3

1

100

Which of the 4 horsemen is the worst?

Contempt

200

Define the emotional bank account

keeping track of what you did to improve connectedness in your relationship and subtracting negatives

300

Couples should allow their partners to influence them. T/F

True (Know the % of divorce)

400

List the 4 Horsemen

Criticism, Contempt, Stonewalling, Defensiveness

500

The name for the hours Gottman recommends couples spend together.

The Magic Hours

2

100

There is an antidote to contempt. T/F

True

200

What are the two main types of problems Gottman writes about?

Solvable and Perpetual

300

Couples should solve their _______ problems.

Solvable

400

List a way to overcome gridlock

Become a dream detective Say Thank You Soothe each other Compromise Work on the Issue

500

Couples are powered through the cascade towards divorce by what two things?

The 4 Horsemen and flooding

3

100

Being demanding of your marriage is a bad thing. T/F

False

200

More than half of a couple's problems are

Perpetual

300

Define stonewalling

Withdrawing as a way to avoid conflict in efforts to convey disapproval, distance and separation.

400

The 4 family communication types are based on what two factors?

Conversation and conformity

500

What are the three couple types that maintain the ideal 5 to 1 ratio?

Validating Couples, Volatile Couples, Conflict Avoidant Couples

4

100

Gottman is over what % effective at predicting divorce?

90%

200

Couples always have the same dreams. T/F

False

300

Couples can ignore each others needs without malice intended. T/F

True

400

Couples that maintain the 5 to 1 ratio are called?

Regulated

500

List a suggestion for couples who have just had a baby

Focus on the marital friendship Don't exclude dad Let dad be baby's playmate Carve out time for the two of you Be sensitive to Dad's needs Give Mom a break

5

100

Gottman watches couples _________ to predict divorce.

Argue/Fight

200

Which couple type has high degrees of conflict and consider themselves to be very passionate?

Volatile

300

Most first marriages will break up. T/F

True (Know the % and when)

400

What is the name of Gottman's lab?

The love lab

500

List 3 marriage myths (according to Gottman)

1. neurosis or personality problems ruin marriage 2. common interests keep people together 3. reciprocity keeps a good relationship 4. Avoiding conflict will ruin your marriage 5. Affairs are the root causes of divorce 6. Men are not biologically built for marriage 7. Men and women are from different planets