Commandments Shmmandments
Where does Moses receive the Ten Commandments and the Law?
Mt. Sinai
Committed some light genocide by ordering a bunch of babies thrown into the Nile
Pharaoh
Look bro I'm not trying to front but I've been catching waves since birth. Don't believe me just ask my mom bro, she saw me surf the Nile in this.
Basket
What leads the Israelites through the wilderness?
Pillar of cloud/Pillar of fire
What is the first commandment?
No other Gods
Threw some gold into a fire and definitely didn't have anything to do with the Calf that popped out.
Aaron
Bro don't mess with the bull or you get the horns. My stupid bro Aaron messed with the bull literally by making one. I was so mad I smashed these.
Ten Commandments
What is the name of the tent where God's presence dwells?
The Tabernacle
God writes the Ten Commandments on these.
Stone tablets
Took God's boring miracle and made it awesome by hitting a rock with a dope staff
Moses
Yo man, don't neglect your man-shell. Moisturize your skin bro. Not everyone can be like me. I haven't put on lotion since Mount Sinai because ever since I came down the mountain my face is....
Radiant/Shining
Why do the Israelites refuse to enter the Promised Land?
The people are too powerful/the Nephilim are there!
The ninth commandment is not a law against lying in general but about doing this against your neighbor.
False testimony
Drowned a whole bunch of soldiers and horses in the Red Sea.
God.
Bro take some time to just be a bro. Not everything is about making gains and crushing it. If you don't, we won't be cool man. I once executed a guy for working on this day.
The Sabbath
With what does Moses strike the rock?
Aaron's staff
The Ten Commandments align with the structure of Ancient Near Eastern covenants. The vassal (Israel) agrees to the stipulations of the one in power (God). What is the term for this role?
Suzerain.
Gave an awesome report about doing some killin in the Promised Land
Caleb and Joshua
Look Broseph, you want to be like me you gotta get like me. I'm the alpha dog so much so that I talked God out of killing people, just like this dude from Genesis did at Sodom and Gomorrah.
Abraham
Mt. Nebo