Escalation
What is stonewalling?
is when someone withdraws from a conversation or refuses to engage, often shutting down emotionally or physically during a conflict.
What are the benefits of using ‘I’ statements in communication?
helps you express your feelings without blaming others.
True or False:
It's okay to yell at the other person if they started yelling first.
False!!
Even if the other person starts yelling, a fair fight rule is to stay calm and respectful. Yelling back escalates the conflict and makes resolution harder.
Your friend cancels plans last minute.
Make an I-statement about how this makes you feel.
Something along the lines of:
I feel disappointed when our plans are canceled at the last minute because I was looking forward to spending time together. I would appreciate it if we could give each other more notice next time.
What actions tend to escalate a disagreement when emotions are high?
Yell, insult, or blame others.
Interrupt or refuse to listen.
Bring up past conflicts or unrelated issues.
Shut down completely or avoid communicating your feelings.
What does positive/effective body language look like during a disagreement?
Facing the person
Maintaining eye contact
Calm tone of voice
True or False:
When having a disagreement, it’s about solving the problem. It is not about winning the fight or blaming the other person.
True!
A coworker sends you last-minute tasks repeatedly, making it hard to complete your own work.
Make an I-statement about how this makes you feel.
Something along the lines of:
I feel overwhelmed and stressed when tasks are assigned last-minute because I need time to do quality work. I would like us to plan deadlines more in advance
What should you do if you start to feel overwhelmed during an argument?
Ask for a short break and revisit the conversation at a later time.
What are some examples of using a gentle startup?
Showing appreciation / Starting with something positive
Calm tone
I statements
Be mindful of timing
True or False:
I should always compromise, even if it means sacrificing my values or boundaries.
False!
True compromise should involve finding a solution that works for both people without forcing anyone to violate their core values or boundaries.
Compromise is about balance, not surrendering what’s essential to you.
You and your partner want to spend the holidays with different families. How could you compromise?
Splitting the holidays between both families or alternating each year so we both get time with our loved ones.
How can recognizing your own emotions help you in a disagreement?
Helps you stay calm and express yourself clearly instead of reacting out of anger or frustration. It allows you to communicate your needs respectfully and listen to the other person with more understanding.
What is reflective listening? How is it useful?
is a communication skill where you carefully listen to someone and then restate or paraphrase what they said to show you understand their thoughts and feelings. It helps the speaker feel heard, builds trust, and ensures both people are on the same page.
True or False:
If I always listen, never use degrading language, practice healthy assertive communication, stay calm, and do everything right, I will never face conflict.
False!!
You will still encounter conflict. Conflict is a normal part of relationships; the goal is not to avoid it entirely but to handle it respectfully and effectively.
You and your partner argue because one of you forgot to pay a bill. You raise your voice, blame each other, and bring up past mistakes instead of focusing on the current situation.
What's the problem? Solution? How can this be resolved using the fair fight rules?
Take a step back to calm down, stick to the current issue, and communicate feelings without blaming.