Tech Troubles
It always needs an update... right when you're in the middle of something important
What is a computer/laptop?
He says this item is "just for decoration," which means you're never allowed to sit on it
What is the very comfy pillow?
They'll say they didn't touch your stuff- but somehow this always goes missing
What is your charger?
When mom says "We're leaving in 5 minutes," this is how long you actually have
What is at least 20 minutes?
She can find this even after you've "looked everywhere"
What is the thing that was right in front of your face?
It's supposed to make the internet faster, but mostly just makes people yell from different room
What is the Wi-Fi router?
DAILY DOUBLE:
According to Dad, this fixes 90% of household problems- TV, car, Wi-Fi, or attitude
What is turning it off and back on (or giving it a good whack)?
The universal rule: If one gets something, the other automatically deserves it too
What is fairness?
No matter how many groceries we buy, someone always says this by the next day
What is "There's nothing to eat"?
This is what she means when she says,"We'll see"
What is "No, but I don't feel like arguing right now"?
This cord is either too short, missing, or in a knot that defies physics
What is a charging cable?
In Dad's mind, if the kids are talking to loud or arguing in the back seat of the car just do this- and magically, the "problem" disappears
What is turn up the radio?
This unspoken game starts when you're both told not to make noises
What is trying to make the other laugh?
This is the official family policy when we can't find the TV remote
What is flip every couch cushion and blame each other?
She doesn't need a weather app- just this to predict a storm
What is her head?
It responds to your voice, unless your actually trying to use it
What is a voice assistant?
When sitting in the passenger seat make sure you don't touch this device or he might turn into the big bad wolf (again)
What is the volume, radio station, or the A/C?
It is a full blown debate about this every morning when they're about to go to school
This is our method for deciding who takes out the trash
What is pretending we didn't notice it or get scolded by dad when he gets home and still take it out?
When your about to do something and she says "Do whatever you want," it actually means this
What is "You better not"?
It's the only thing in the house that has 47 tabs open and still insists it's "running fine"
What is my parents (my mom's) internet browser?
What is "making good time"
This is the ultimate insult in sibling language. No swearing required
What is "I'm telling Mom"?
When the Wi-Fi goes down, the house turn into this
What is a mild survival scenario (or total chaos)?
You thought you hid the mess. But she found it using this ancient skill
What is Mom Vision?