Motivation
Family Pattern: We look at what regularly plays out in your family interactions identifying how each of you respond during conflict or varying situations. This allows us to create new patterns for you guys to work together more cohesively.
In your family pattern:
Maddie may be struggling with something, Molly will begin to ask questions out of curiosity and/or concern, Maddie will grow frustrated and tell Molly to stay out of it. At this point, mom and dad will step in to see how to support Maddie, but Maddie will go silent, become nonverbal or shut them out.
In this pattern, where do you guys feel the most stuck and why?
What is we feel stuck in X part of the pattern.
Identify this activity:
Anger is often the easiest emotion to display toward others, yet it masks deeper feelings such as feeling helpless, overwhelmed or lonely.
Purpose: Recognize the more vulnerable emotions being hidden underneath the surface
What is the anger iceberg?
Why did we do the body mapping exercise?
Reminder: Used worksheets to identify what different emotions cause us to feel physically in our bodies such as feeling sweaty when nervous or tension in your head when stressed.
What is helping members understand how our physical bodies respond to and experience different emotions
What was the purpose of perspective taking?
Reminder: Optical illusions
Ex1: Baby + lake scene
Ex2: A mans face + word "LIAR"
Ex3: Bird holding something in mouth + man in a canoe on island with hat
Ex4: Old woman + young girl
What is being openminded to hearing other member's point of view allowing for increased understanding and empathy.
Discussion
Noble Intent is the positive well-meaning motivation behind a family member’s behavior.
Ex1:
- Behavior: Arguing, refusing chores, or breaking rules
- Noble Intent: Seeking independence or testing limits in a safe way.
Ex2:
- Behavior: Parent puts up camera in child's bedroom
- Noble Intent: Parent is protecting his or her child by ensureing they are engaging in safe behaviors
Why might we teach noble intent behind behaviors?
What is reducing blame, increasing empathy, and opening the door for behavioral change.
What was the purpose of the Back-to-Back drawing activity?
Reminder: Clx brought photos of geometric shapes and Halloween-themed photos. Each member took turns describing what they saw in the photos while other members drew it without asking any questions
What is strengthening communication and active listening skills by encouraging family members to give and receive clear instructions. Additionally, perspective-taking by highlighting how each person interprets information differently
Activity
Describe what the 5-Senses Grounding Technique is
What is the Grounding technique utilizing Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch, Taste (Alternative option: can substitute for colors & shapes as well)
What do you think the purpose of playing feelings charades (with feelings wheel) was for?
What is promoting greater understanding of member's feelings as displayed through body language.
It's easy to misinterpret members feelings when there verbal communication and body language doesn't match opening the door to misunderstanding and disconnect
Ex: you start arguing and I interrupt you.
Why might I do this?
To take a time out, as a clx it's important to create pause before things escalate
Why did we play Uno Boundaries with safety planning prompts?
Reminder: Prompts included sharing a time you engaged in an unsafe behavior (mom reporting walking alone at night in the past), and identifying family safety rules (sharing location & always having a person to keep you company when out in public)
What is establishing boundaries helps to reduce safety risk by promoting clear communication around safe verses risky behaviors?
Activity
Describe Categories grounding technique?
What is focusing on the present moment and reducing overwhelming thoughts. First two rounds offered with chosen topics (ex: animals, movies, vegetables). Third round was a topic of your choice.
Activity
Why did we learn about love languages?
What is helping family members understand and express love in ways that are meaningful to each other to improve emotional connection and enhance communication about needs and feelings.
Discussion
Why is it important to learn about intention verses impact?
Reminder: Intention is what a person may think or feel during an action or conversation. It's what you thought you were doing.
VERSES
Impact refers to how that action or conversation makes the other person feel. This is how your actions were perceived by the other person.
Ex: You make a joke with your friends, but they don't laugh at it. Your INTENTION was to be funny, but your IMPACT was hurtful.
What is helping family members acknowledge the effect of their own actions or words influence how other perceive or experience them creating space for understanding and healthier communication.
Activity
Which sentence below accurately reflects an "I" statement?
A. You never clean up after yourself.
B. You are so annoying.
C. I feel unheard when I don't get a chance to finish my thoughts because it seems like my ideas and opinions don't matter.
What is C. I feel unheard when I don't get a chance to finish my thoughts because it seems like my ideas and opinions don't matter.
"I feel" (emotion) "when"(situation/behavior) "because" (reason why) ...
Describe how to practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation
What is reducing tension in your body by tightening and loosening different parts of your body (feet, legs, stomach, face) to bring you back to the present
Activity
Which response demonstrates Listening to Understand and which demonstrates Listening to React?
A. Well if you just would do X, Y and Z then you wouldn't be so stressed out
B. I hear that you're feeling overwhelmed, is there anything I can do to help you?
What is A. Listening to React
What is B. Listening to Understand
Rewrite this sentence utilizing the "I" Statement formula
1. You never listen to me.
2. You always leave your clothes on the floor.
"I feel" (emotion) "when"(situation/behavior) "because" (reason why) ...
1. I feel ignored when I try to communicate my feelings to you because my thoughts don't matter.
2. I feel stressed when I see messes because it adds more work to my plate.
Discussion
What skill could you practice to self regulate?
Whichever one works best for you!