Family Injuries Due to Gregg
This family member was hit by an oncoming Gregg in cross-country skis (and it was caught on camera).
Who is Jessi.
This arboricultural pastime invoked mindfulness long before progressives knew it was cool.
What is Christmas Tree Hour.
This person is the best dad in the universe.
Who is Gregg (of course).
Gregg would disown you if you were caught drinking one of these.
Bud Light or other crappy beer
Volume of a pizza with radius z and height a
What is pizza
This family member very boldly decided to throw a snowball at Gregg while he was in a swimsuit. This family member paid the price for that decision.
Who is Forest.
This aquatic activity was introduced to the family on the lagoon in Minnesota and was later enjoyed by the family in trips to these two states.
What is kayaking in Georgia and Hawaii.
Gregg believes that this reminder will single-handedly help save the planet (and his wallet).
What is turning the lights off when you leave a room. We don't want to light it up like Fort Knox!
You will feel Gregg's wrath if you do this during a car ride.
Speak above a whisper
Integral of the devil
What is evil
This family member had sore legs after wrestling with Gregg.
Who is Luna.
This many years of our lives would have been spent wasting away in Ohio were it not for Gregg.
What are exactly 15 years to the day.
Gregg's advice about time management.
What is "If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute to do."
Gregg would never be caught shoveling a snowy driveway in these.
What is zero (all poles are in Eastern Europe)
This family member almost sustained many broken-glass-related injuries after a kitchen scuffle with Gregg.
Who is Alec.
Two types of animals from which the family has been saved due to Gregg's heroic efforts, and in what states did the encounters occur?
What are cows and turkeys in Texas and Arizona, respectively.
Gregg's go-to words of wisdom for any tough situation.
What is "It builds character."
Gregg used to hate this food but now he eats it all the time.
Avocados
A vehicle full of CIA agents
SPI-bus
This poor, unsuspecting family member in the picture (provided by Jessi) was taken to the ground and left behind as a smug Gregg was captured on camera.
Who is Brent.
On Gregg's birthday in 2012, he took Alec on a birding trip in which he used this situationally inappropriate mantra when two things were accomplished at one time.
What is killing two birds with one stone.
Gregg was the OG spiritual guru and has always known the power of the mind. This is his favorite piece of advice to give about your mind.
What is "Mind over matter."
If Gregg had to choose his most uncomfortable piece of clothing, it would likely be this.
Air Force dress blues
The integral of 1/(cabin) d(cabin)
What is a natural log cabin? (+C)
Bonus points for "Houseboat"