This white, fluffy substance covers the ground in winter—and disappears faster than your motivation to shovel it.
What is snow?
The number of snowballs it takes to start a full-blown neighborhood war.
What is one?
The universal greeting between neighbors after a blizzard.
What is “So... you shovel yet?”
The sound your back makes after shoveling the driveway once.
What is snap-crackle-why?
This is the brilliant idea that leads to snow getting inside your boots every single time.
What is jumping in a snowbank?
This person claims to “love snow,” but miraculously disappears every time the driveway needs clearing.
Who is Dad?
This common snow-day activity is responsible for more broken shins than skiing.
What is trying to walk "gracefully" on ice?
This passive-aggressive move involves clearing just your section of the sidewalk.
What is snow-shaming?
This is what you call falling flat on your face in the snow but pretending it was “on purpose.”
What is snow yoga?
The activity that always seems like a good idea until the hill ends in traffic.
What is extreme sledding?
This frosty fashion icon wears a top hat, scarf, and buttons made of coal—and still pulls off the look better than most of us on Zoom.
Who is Frosty the Snowman?
Scientists say every snowflake is unique, just like this excuse for not showing up to work.
What is “my driveway is frozen shut”?
The person who refuses to wear a coat because they’re “only going to the car.”
Who is the human popsicle?
The best part of snow is when it becomes this horrible, slushy mess in parking lots.
What is the gray soup of despair?
Your car turns into this elegant machine every time you try to brake on icy roads.
What is a figure skater?
This deceptive activity seems fun until you realize you can no longer feel your toes or your will to live.
What is sledding?
The official name for that weird, panicked penguin-walk you do when it’s icy.
What is the slip 'n' shuffle?
This is what you pretend to enjoy when your kids ask to “go play in the snow” for the seventh time.
What is quality family time (and mild frostbite)?
You’d think you’d learn after the third time stepping outside in socks “just for a second.”
What is seasonal foot regret?
The bold move of pouring hot water on your windshield to melt the ice, followed by instant regret.
What is "cracked glass and life choices"?
This Canadian Olympic sport looks like competitive sweeping on ice, probably invented by bored janitors.
What is curling?
The tragic fate of all snowmen, as they succumb to climate change and small children with sticks.
What is melting?
This rare phenomenon happens when someone actually returns your snow shovel.
What is a Christmas miracle?
This essential snow accessory keeps your hands warm and prevents text messages.
What are mitten-cuffs of doom?
This is the result when your dog sees snow for the first time and forgets what the leash is for.
What is a canine tornado?